Every Captive Free

FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!

This has been the cry of my heart for quite some time yet it has been amplified in the last couple of weeks as God is in the process of bringing even greater levels of freedom into my life. Healing and freedom go hand in hand to me. As we are healed, greater levels of freedom come.

I am currently reading a rather intense book that I don't know that I would recommend to everyone but here is such a powerful quote from it:

None of us are as free as Jesus intended for us to be. We may be as free as we know how to be at this hour. As we gain new freedom, we will then be able to look back and see how deeply in bondage we were all along.-Malone

Jesus has greater levels of freedom for me! And for you! The kicker is, we have to want it. Jesus is a gentleman and He will not force anything on us, from salvation, to the Holy Spirit, to healing and freedom. He desires it for us more than we could ever know but He won't force it. We have to want it!

I want it so bad I can taste it! It is literally something I am craving and I am working towards because I recognize two things: 1. I need it. 2. Those around me need it and until they see it manifest in my life, they won't recognize the need for it in their own life.

Yesterday, a friend posted on facebook "what is something that i want to see changed in the world? it can be small or big...anything." I asked her if it was a rhetorical question and she responded that she in fact was trying to figure out what she wants to see changed in the world and that she would take suggestions. My response was "I want to see lives transformed for the glory of God, particularly people living as free and healed as God intended them to be." I do! I really, really do!

A friend of mine shared this song with me the other day and I can't stop listening to it. It's one of those that has gotten down into my spirit and I keep singing it over and over as I go throughout my day. The song is Every Captive Free by Matt Gilman. May it minister to you in great ways and may you seek after healing and freedom in Christ all the days of your life!

Fight For It!

Life is about relationships. God created us to be in relationship with Him first and foremost but He also created us to be in relationship with others. He saw all the way back in the garden of Eden that it was not good for man to be alone. (Genesis 2:18). Often we think of this only in relation to husbands and wives but looking broader, we see that ultimately, God, in His divine wisdom saw the need for us to be in relationships with others.

However, in case you haven't noticed, Satan tries to do everything in his power to destroy relationships. All Satan knows how to do is steal, kill and destroy, nothing more and nothing less. (John 10:10) He knows that he will forever be estranged from God and that the relationship he once had with the Creator of the Universe has been severed; thus his reason for attacking us so vehemently. Satan is jealous of our relationship with God Almighty and he will do everything in his limited power to keep us from Him. And again, the only way he knows how to do that is to steal, kill and destroy.

Additionally, Satan recognizes the power of united Christians; brothers and sisters that dwell together in unity in Christ (Psalm 133:1). He attempts to cause disunity, disorder, pain, hurt, rejection and communication breakdown in those relationships in hopes that we will turn on each other and ultimately turn away from God.

Over the past few months, one such relationship was under attack between myself and a friend of mine. Pain happened. Distance began. Communication stopped. Relationship nearly ended. BUT GOD! This past week, we were able to talk through the events and situations openly and honestly before one another. We both decided that this relationship, this God-ordained friendship was and is worth fighting for! And today, we spent the day together! And ya know what? We had the best communication than we have ever had and our relationship is stronger than it was before! There is such an awesome power in knowing that two people are fighting for a friendship and are determined to make it work! My God truly is a God of Reconciliation!

Maybe there's a relationship you need to fight for today. It could be a marriage, a relationship with a parent  a friendship or whatever. Regardless of the who, my exhortation to you is to fight for it! It's so worth it! It's not always easy, this I know as I tearfully shared with my friend the night of our reconciliation but the good fruit that follows is of the sweetest kind!

What relationship are you willing to fight for?

You Are Mine

There are no words for me to say today. I am His. He is Mine.

Isaiah 43:1-7
But now, O Israel, the Lord who created you says: “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. 2 When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. 3 For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I gave Egypt, Ethiopia, and Seba as a ransom for your freedom. 4 Others died that you might live. I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you. 5 “Do not be afraid, for I am with you. I will gather you and your children from east and west 6 and from north and south. I will bring my sons and daughters back to Israel from the distant corners of the earth. 7 All who claim me as their God will come, for I have made them for my glory. It was I who created them.”



Concept Grasped, Execution Elusive

I have found so many insightful truths from the movie(s) Princess Diaries and Princess Diaries 2! Even though I could probably quote the movies verbatim, occasionally as I listen, some quotes stir me as if it's the first time I have heard them. Let me set up the scene from which this quote comes.

Princess Mia has been having a rough go of things. She is engaged to be married to a man (Andrew) she is clearly not in love with but is choosing to overlook that fact for the sake of the crown. However, she is being wooed by a man (Nicholas) that she does find attractive and is drawn to although he is trying to steal her crown. Mia has just had another interaction with Nicholas in which he kisses her causing much confusion and chaos that leaves the two of them soaking wet from falling in a fountain. Princess Mia shamefully heads back to the palace.

The next scene is Queen Clarice reprimanding Mia for her actions in essence asking Mia when will she grasp the concept that she is a princess, on the road to queen-dom. Mia responds by saying "The concept IS grasped. The execution is a little elusive!"

Quite often, I feel like Princess Mia. I can relate with her in so many ways and on so many levels. I understand the "concept" but sometimes the execution is a little elusive or a little out of reach. Paul talks about this idea in Romans 7:

^14-16I can anticipate the response that is coming: "I know that all God's commands are spiritual, but I'm not. Isn't this also your experience?" Yes. I'm full of myself—after all, I've spent a long time in sin's prison. What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary.
 ^17-20But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.
 ^21-23It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.


Paul got the "concept" but the execution was elusive. Your "concept" may not be a sin issue as Paul was talking about. The "concept" for you might be that you "know" that you are God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus (Ephesians 2) but executing that might be difficult or a little elusive for you. I don't know what it is you are struggling to execute in your life but God does and He has promised to help us in our time of need (Hebrews 4:16).

Ultimately, by the end of the movie, Princess Mia not only grasped the concept, she was able to execute it and execute it well as Queen of Genovia. It may take us a little longer than an hour and a half movie to get there but we are well on our way!

 Don't allow your goof-ups to slow you down today!

God Speaks Through a Donkey and a Wii

God speaks to his people, there's no mistake about that. We read in Numbers 22 how God used a donkey to speak to Balaam. Balaam was trying to obey God but He didn't recognize the angel of the Lord and when his donkey stopped, Balaam beat his donkey, not once, not twice but three times. But then the donkey, no relation to Mr. Ed, speaks via the Lord's power so Balaam could hear what God had to say. You can check out the story for yourself in Numbers. I just wanted you to be aware that sometimes God speaks in different ways :)


Yesterday, I was playing a Wii game called Sword Showdown. In the game you are a swordsman and you are taking on 100 different opponents by yourself. You have three lives and each time you are hit, you lose a life. I am on level 6 which I can’t seem to get past. I must have played that level about 35-40 times now and I can’t win. As I was playing with the children I babysit looking on, I could feel myself growing increasingly frustrated with this imaginary game. Why? Because that’s how I often feel in life…like I can’t win. I make progress and seem to be conquering but then I take a few hits and I am down for the count or lose. It doesn’t matter how angry I get or how hard I hit to take out the opponents, I can’t seem to get the victory...yet. And I am mad. Mad at the devil and his stupid lies. And I have a feeling you might be as well.

I was reminded last night about healing being a progressive work, something I remind others about often but occasionally need the reminder myself. We often think of healing and life on a timeline with point A being said issue, point B being another. We deal with said issue but if it comes up again we feel like we have failed and that we are starting over or at least taking two steps forward and one step back. However, we need to see our lives and our healing as a spiral (Alicia Chole illustration) or a mountain (Me and Miley Cyrus illustration). Yes, we deal with issue A to the best of our ability at the time and as we go around the mountain we may tackle issue B and C but then we may come upon issue A again. When we do so, it's not a sign of defeat or setback but rather the reality that we are going further in dealing with our issues as we go up the mountain.

Miley Cyrus sings the song called The Climb and in looking at the lyrics this morning these particular verses stood out:

 The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on


All of that to say, I'm pushing on. And while, I may not have conquered level 6 of Sword Showdown and while I am working on conquering new levels in my life, I WILL CONQUER BOTH EVENTUALLY! As Romans 8:37 says: No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us!

We can conquer, friend. I choose to keep on fighting and I pray you will do the same!

Healer

Over the last few days, I have been re-visiting this song that helped me through a difficult season and is helping me yet again.

Quite a bit of controversy surfaced over this song but more in regards to the person who wrote it. The lyricist, a broken individual, penned the words to this song while lying about the fact that he had cancer. While this is a sad ordeal, I think it was the cry of the author for true emotional healing, even through the deception. Many churches have stopped singing this song as a part of their worship set however, there is so much truth enveloped in these words. I have refused to allow the controversy to quench what God wants to do in and through me via this song. Below are the lyrics and the song sung by Hillsong, yes the original lyricist, as God can forgive him and heal him just as he desires.

 I pray greater levels of healing for us all.

Healer

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in you
I trust in you

I believe
You're my healer
I believe
You are all i need
I believe
You're my portion
I believe
You're more than enough for me
Jesus, you're all i need

Nothing is impossible for you
Nothing is impossible
Nothing is impossible for you
You hold my world in your hands

Remembering, I keep a grip on hope!

All I have to share today is the scripture I have been mulling over since I heard it on the radio last night. The Scripture is found in Lamentations 3. I know, Lamentations..sounds exciting, right? But these verses have already brought me hope and I pray they do the same for you! The italicized and underlined section is what was shared on the radio but it's all so good.

It's a Good Thing to Hope for Help from God

 ^19-21I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,
   the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed.
I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—
   the feeling of hitting the bottom.
But there's one other thing I remember,
   and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:

 ^22-24God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
   his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
   How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).
   He's all I've got left.

 ^25-27God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
   to the woman who diligently seeks.
It's a good thing to quietly hope,
   quietly hope for help from God.
It's a good thing when you're young
   to stick it out through the hard times.

 ^28-30When life is heavy and hard to take,
   go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions:
   Wait for hope to appear.
Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face.
   The "worst" is never the worst.

 ^31-33Why? Because the Master won't ever
   walk out and fail to return.
If he works severely, he also works tenderly.
   His stockpiles of loyal love are immense.
He takes no pleasure in making life hard,
   in throwing roadblocks in the way:

 ^34-36Stomping down hard
   on luckless prisoners,
Refusing justice to victims
   in the court of High God,
Tampering with evidence—
   the Master does not approve of such things.

Yearn

This is where is my heart is this morning.

YEARN

1: to long persistently, wistfully, or sadly <yearns to make a difference>

2: to feel tenderness or compassion

 

 

 

 

 

 

yearn

by shane barnard

holy design
this place in time
that i might seek and find my God
my God

Lord i want to yearn for You
i want to burn with passion
over You and only You
Lord i want to yearn

Your joy is mine
yet why am i fine
with all my singing and bringing grain
in light of Him

oh You give life and breath
through Him You give all things
in Him we live and move
that's why i sing

acts 17:25-28, hebrews 12:28-29

The Grasshopper Mentality

Since the month of January began, I have heard at least 4 sermons preached on Numbers 13 by different people! I think God may be trying to get a message across to me! So, let's look at it starting in verse 17:

 ¹⁷ When Moses sent them to explore Canaan, he said, “Go up through the Negev and on into the hill country. ¹⁸ See what the land is like and whether the people who live there are strong or weak, few or many. ¹⁹ What kind of land do they live in? Is it good or bad? What kind of towns do they live in? Are they unwalled or fortified? ²⁰ How is the soil? Is it fertile or poor? Are there trees in it or not? Do your best to bring back some of the fruit of the land.” (It was the season for the first ripe grapes.)
 ²¹ So they went up and explored the land from the Desert of Zin as far as Rehob, toward Lebo Hamath. ²² They went up through the Negev and came to Hebron, where Ahiman, Sheshai and Talmai, the descendants of Anak, lived. (Hebron had been built seven years before Zoan in Egypt.) ²³ When they reached the Valley of Eshkol,^[a] they cut off a branch bearing a single cluster of grapes. Two of them carried it on a pole between them, along with some pomegranates and figs. ²⁴ That place was called the Valley of Eshkol because of the cluster of grapes the Israelites cut off there. ²⁵ At the end of forty days they returned from exploring the land.

Report on the Exploration

 ²⁶ They came back to Moses and Aaron and the whole Israelite community at Kadesh in the Desert of Paran. There they reported to them and to the whole assembly and showed them the fruit of the land. ²⁷ They gave Moses this account: “We went into the land to which you sent us, and it does flow with milk and honey! Here is its fruit. ²⁸ But the people who live there are powerful, and the cities are fortified and very large. We even saw descendants of Anak there. ²⁹ The Amalekites live in the Negev; the Hittites, Jebusites and Amorites live in the hill country; and the Canaanites live near the sea and along the Jordan.”
 ³⁰ Then Caleb silenced the people before Moses and said, “We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it.”
 ³¹ But the men who had gone up with him said, “We can’t attack those people; they are stronger than we are.” ³² And they spread among the Israelites a bad report about the land they had explored. They said, “The land we explored devours those living in it. All the people we saw there are of great size. ³³ We saw the Nephilim there (the descendants of Anak come from the Nephilim). We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them.”


Now, since I have heard this message repeatedly, I have a few thoughts that I will share from those that shared originally and then my processing.

This land, Canaan, was the land that in Numbers 13:1 God, tells Moses that he is GIVING or bestowing upon the Israelites as we see here:¹ The LORD said to Moses, ² “Send some men to explore the land of Canaan, which I am GIVING to the Israelites. From each ancestral tribe send one of its leaders.” In other words, the land, the promised land, already belonged to the children of Israel but God was allowing them to inspect it and overtake it in order to inhabit it, if they would so choose.

The spies, 12 of them, go check out this Canaan land and recognize that it is a fortified city, which was truth. But the bad report that comes from 10 of the 12 is that "But the people who live there are powerful". This was a judgment that the 10 spies made rather than truth. They started comparing themselves to the people of the land and therein lied the bad report.

But Caleb and Joshua, saw things differently and we hear that when Caleb proclaims that they should go up and take possession of the land. Caleb was not hindered by his size but rather he remembered the size of his God that had rescued them from their slave masters in Egypt. He remembered how God had provided for them with gold and treasure from the slave masters themselves. He remembered what it felt like to walk on the dry ground of the Red Sea with walls of water on both sides. He remembered the manna that fell from heaven and the water that came from the rock. Caleb remembered God's past performance and knew that God could show up and help them defeat the Canaanites.

However, the other 10 spies, could only see their smallness as we see in verse 33: We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them.” The spies had a "Grasshopper Mentality". They saw the circumstances that surrounded them with the same physical eyes that Caleb and Joshua had however they looked through natural eyes instead of eyes of faith. As a result, they thought of themselves as small as well as God. They had forgotten all that God had done in the past, how He had provided and led them. They forgot it all. They saw themselves as mere grasshoppers, able to be crushed with one step of a good shoe. They saw themselves as defeated before a battle even took place. They saw Canaan as a big boogie man, unable to  be defeated. And as a result, it cost them.

We see in Numbers 14 the result of their lack of faith and their insistence on their smallness:²⁰ The LORD replied, “I have forgiven them, as you asked. ²¹ Nevertheless, as surely as I live and as surely as the glory of the LORD fills the whole earth, ²² not one of those who saw my glory and the signs I performed in Egypt and in the wilderness but who disobeyed me and tested me ten times— ²³ not one of them will ever see the land I promised on oath to their ancestors. No one who has treated me with contempt will ever see it. ²⁴ But because my servant Caleb has a different spirit and follows me wholeheartedly, I will bring him into the land he went to, and his descendants will inherit it.

Their "Grasshopper Mentality" cost them the promised land!! But Caleb, who had a "different spirit" was able to enter and dwell there. What made Caleb different? I think it was a few things. He saw through the eyes of faith and not through natural eyes. I think He also remembered what God had done for him as well as for His people. And, I know that Caleb knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God was on His side and that He was bigger than the Canaanite boogie men.

Now, for my transparency, I have had a "Grasshopper Mentality" for far too long, thus 4 messages in a 3 week period! I see God as I see myself and I forget what He has done for me and for those I love. However, I refuse to stay there. I can't afford to stay there and neither can you! The promised land is at stake!

Lord, help me to break through this grasshopper mentality. Help me to see you as you really are. Help me to recognize your bigness and to walk in the authority you have given me to possess the land!

I know this was more of an intense blog and it needed to be however, I can't not leave you with a little bit of fun. So, as we are fighting off this grasshopper mentality, we can look to the great vegetables of our day that have proudly proclaimed, "God is bigger than the boogie man. He's bigger than Godzilla and the monsters on TV. Oh, God is bigger than the boogie man, And he's watching out for you and me." Thank you Veggie Tales for this reminder!

She Tackles, She Conquers

If you haven't noticed by now, God speaks to me in weird ways and not so weird ways too, I guess. Anyway, yesterday I was watching one of my all time favorite shows, Gilmore Girls (I have all 7 seasons and I watch them continuously). The things I love most about the show are their quick wit, humor and the fact that they talk fast too! This show also produces a lot of great one-liners which I also immsensly enjoy but I digress.

On the episode I watched yesterday, Rory, one of the main characters was put in charge of overseeing an event for the first time.  Her grandmother was worried about how well she would do especially considering the fact that she was making all sorts of changes and doing things differently than had ever been done before. While, Rory's grandmother was expressing her concern to Rory's grandfather, he stops her mid-sentence and says, in regards to Rory, "Everything she tackles she conquers!" WOW!

As I heard that phrase last night my heart leaped at the amount of faith her grandfather had in her abilities. He wasn't worried a bit about her performance because he had true faith in her and his love of her was not based on her performance anyway!  Not only that but what a thing for Rory to be known for, as a woman who conquers everything she tackles! Talk about a great label to have!

The awesome thing is that I have that label too! And so do you! Romans 8:37 says, "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." Sadly, I often forget that this label is mine as well as my identity. On those days, all I can really conquer is a pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream!! Even today, as I am frustrated by circumstances/situations and I don't feel like a conqueror that doesn't negate the fact that at my core, I am.

To wind down last night, I watched the first few minutes of Princess Diaries 2. The opening scenes of that movie point to the first movie in which Mia Thermopolis finds out that she is a princess. At first Mia doesn't believe that she is a princess. Then once she acknowledges that she comes from royal blood, she tells Joseph, her driver and protector that she doesn't want to BE a princess. Joseph tells her essentially that she can decline the throne but can never cease being what she truly is, a princess!

I can never cease being a conqueror. I can stop acting liking it but I can not stop being it because it is in my DNA in Christ. I may feel defeated by life and I may have a rough couple of days, but in time, my conquering spirit will come forth because I can't cease being what I truly am, a conqueror! And of course, the same goes for you!

Lord, help us to recognize, realize, and remember who we are in You! Thank you for making us more than conquerors in You!

The Weight of the Potter's Hand

Jeremiah 18:2 -6 "Arise and go down to the potter's house, and there I will cause you to hear My words." Then I went down to the potter's house, and there he was, making something at the wheel. And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter; so he made it again into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to make.

Not only do I write a daily blog/devo, I also get a few that I have subscribed to as well and the Scripture in one of them was this passage from Jeremiah 18. As I read it, I realized I am back on the potter's wheel and I'm starting to get dizzy! The verse that sticks out to me are "And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter;so he made it again into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to make.

A "mar" is a disfiguring mark; a blemish. "Marred" is to inflict damage, especially disfiguring damage on; to impair the soundness, perfection, or integrity of; spoil. Now, I am not a Bible scholar, so when some verse sticks out to me, I do the only thing I know to do and that is read it in several versions of the Bible. So, here we go!

⁴And the vessel that he was making from clay was spoiled in the hand of the potter; so he made it over, reworking it into another vessel as it seemed good to the potter to make it. (Amplified Bible)

⁴ But the jar he was making did not turn out as he had hoped, so he crushed it into a lump of clay again and started over. (New Living Translation)

⁴ His hands were shaping a pot out of clay. But he saw that something was wrong with it. So he formed it into another pot. He shaped it in the way that seemed best to him.  (New International Reader's Version)

Whenever the pot the potter was working on turned out badly, as sometimes happens when you are working with clay, the potter would simply start over and use the same clay to make another pot. (The Message)

Life causes "marring". Our choices cause "marring". And it would seem that God causes "marring" but it is "marring" with a purpose. When He sees those blemishes and imperfections in us, He chooses to not let them stay there but rather remove them by starting over. Theologically for me, it may not make a whole lot of sense but spiritually, I feel the weight of the potter's hand on my life, even as I type this, re-forming my life and my dreams and re-working my thoughts and my ideas. I'm not gonna lie, it's a painful process and everything within you wants to scream out in pain but graciously, the potter's hand never leaves the wheel! As we go round and round, as he molds and forms us, His hand never leaves the wheel!! That is good news friend!

Ultimately, the Potter will make me into the vessel that He wants me to be, blemish free in eternity. But on this side of heaven, I think me and the potter's wheel will become really good friends! I am feeling the weight of the potter's hands today and you may be as well. While it may be tough, His eyes are always on us and His hands are always near!

This is an awesome demo of clay being molded into something great and it has Darlene Zschech singing Potter's Hand as well! Enjoy!

What Love Really Means

I love this song! I have been singing it repeatedly for quite some time. I think it describes so well what we all want. We want someone to love us for who we are, not for what we have done or what we will become. We long for this kind of love. We lust after this kind of love. We search everywhere for this kind of love. We attempt to change our behaviors to earn this kind of love. We go to great lengths to be loved.

But the only place we can locate this love is in the arms of God. He is the only one who can love us in this manner. The Bible says in John 3:16 "For God sooooo loved the world, that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him shall have everlasting life." (Emphasis on the "so" mine) He loved us when we were unlovable, unlovely, and in sin. He loved us when we could care less about Him and knowing Him. He loved us when we doubted and hated Him. The cool thing is that just as He LOVED us, He still LOVES us and He WILL forever LOVE us! Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8) and so that means His love remains the same!!

Even though I know these truths that I am sharing with you today, God is teaching me more about His love and what it means in my life. He's changing my thinking and revealing lies I have believed about Him in my heart and mind. He is showing me His love in fresh new ways and I pray He will do the same for you! This is my prayer over us, just as Paul prayed it over the Ephesians many moons ago, "And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." (Ephesians 3:18-19)

Crazy Ol' Loon!

For those of you looking for posts over the weekend, sorry! I have decided that weekday posts will be a regular thing but I need some grace for weekends and so you may or may not have weekend posts, just fyi.

So, last night, after the crazy busy weekend I mentioned above, I curled up in bed and started watching Beauty and the Beast, the ultimate Disney classic. As I was laying there, drifting off to sleep, Gaston and Le Fou (Gaston's partner in crime) encounter Belle as she is heading home to her father, Maurice. Le Fou says in relation to Maurice, "That crazy ol' loon! He needs all the help he can get!" Just then an explosion happens in the distance and Belle runs off to check on her father.

When I heard that line, which I have heard a thousand times before, it resonated in such a clear way last night. I'm Maurice! I'm that crazy ol loon! For those of you that know me, I know you just said a loud "Amen!" But that's not really the part I want to focus in on. The piece of that line that stood out was "HE NEEDS ALL THE HELP HE CAN GET!" Yes, that's me!! I am realizing more and more that I can't do this thing called life alone. And honestly, I don't want to. Often times, I sway back and forth on this pendulum as I try to be self sufficient depending only on myself to take care of life and then to the other side where I really need to stay. Let's talk about the other side for a little.

The other side is the side in which I am completely dependent on the Lord to supply everything that I need, physically, emotionally, spiritually, relationally. He's promised he will do it in Phillipians 4:19: "But my God shall supply ALL your needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus." It's amazing how often I see all but hear some or I know He says all but I think He only means some. In correlation to needing the Lord, we need each other as God has created us for relationships. So much of the Bible is written to us as to how to properly be in relationship with others, how to handle conflict, how to love, etc. We can't look at Scripture and think that we are to go this journey alone. We need help, all of us. When we deny this fact, we limit God, we limit our relationships and we limit ourselves.

I need all the help I can get! I will shout it from the rooftops! I am not ashamed to let people know that I need them. I may be humbled in the process to ask for help but that is only because asking for help is contrary to culture. We see those that ask for help as needy or less than. But why would God tell us to ask, seek and knock (Matthew 7:6-8)??

God, I am asking, seeking and knocking for your help! I need it! I need all of it! Yes, the world may call me crazy for relying on You and trusting You but I would rather be a crazy ol' loon any day!

Just Call Me Israel

I am a facebook junkie as most of you know. I spend a lot of time on there as I am such a people person and it's pretty much the easiest way for me to keep up with my friends that are all over the state and country and even in other countries. Anyway, yesterday this is what I wrote on my facebook status: doesn't really like grappling with faith issues but I am definitely willing to do it to find truth! I am definitely in the throes of a wrestling match as I am seeking God's truth about a situation in my life. Thankfully, I am not the first and I am sure I won't be the last!

In Genesis 32: 24-28 we read the story of Jacob wrestling with God. Here it is for your convenience:
^24-25 But Jacob stayed behind by himself, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When the man saw that he couldn't get the best of Jacob as they wrestled, he deliberately threw Jacob's hip out of joint.

 ²⁶ The man said, "Let me go; it's daybreak."
   Jacob said, "I'm not letting you go 'til you bless me."
 ²⁷ The man said, "What's your name?"
   He answered, "Jacob."
 ²⁸ The man said, "But no longer. Your name is no longer Jacob. From now on it's Israel (God-Wrestler); you've wrestled with God and you've come through."

I love verse 28! God changes Jacob's name which meant "deceiver" to Israel which means "God wrestler". It is my experience with decievers that they themselevs are deceived or they deceive so much that they no longer know truth or remember truth. Right now, I can relate. Not that I have been deceiving others but that I have been deceived myself and I am fighting for truth. Fighting to find God in my circumstances and situations. Just like Jacob, I am wrestling with God, not in the physical sense but in the mental and spiritual recesses of my soul. While I am still in the throes of this match, I love the hope that I find at the end of verse 28: "you've wrestled with God and you've come through!" I will come through and I'll get a new name in the process!

What do you need to wrestle with God about? What have you wrestled with God about? What is God wrestling with you about? Keep fighting for truth friends as truth has the ability to set us free!!

Onion Healing: Level #432

Weird title. I know.

What in the world is onion healing?! Well, in my world, it's how I like to refer to another level of healing. I once heard emotional/spiritual healing referred to like an onion, from who, I don't remember but the illustration stuck! An onion has many layers, just how many depends on the onion. When we deal with healing we are very similar to this vegetable. The kicker is that just like an onion we have no idea how many layers we really have. Every time we deal with the issues in our lives and seek healing, we deal with another layer of our onion. This doesn't necessarily mean we have digressed or regressed but it's just another level or progress of healing on this journey we call life. With all of that said, I feel like I am somewhere on level #432! :) Really! I have done two stints of intense counseling so far and I am positive that we have at least gotten to level #431 so this would make level #432! (Besides, 432 IS my favorite number..so, go with it!)

Anyway, last night, I felt God directing me to re-read a book called Crucified by Christians by Gene Edwards. (Truth be told, I think we all have felt like that at some point in our lives.) I started reading it this morning since I was up with the chickens but had to stop and process, thus you hearing/reading about it now. When I wrote Converted by Cookies, Healed by Grace, I had already undergone healing for that chapter of my life and the book was able to be written in only a week and a half, aka "warp speed". However, as I am trying to write book #2, I am realizing just how much healing needs to come as the subject of book #2 is directly related to the book God is having me read right now.

All of that to say, another level of healing is taking place. It's just really started in the last couple of months so it could be awhile. But my hope is in the Lord! Psalm 147:3 says "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." I am so grateful that I love and serve the God of Restoration. The lyrics below are to a song that was sang at a conference that really got this healing process going. I tried to enclose the link for you to hear it as well but if that doesn't work you can look it up on using this link. http://youtu.be/7LcyQOLVS_U

Restoration-David Brymer

You bring restoration

You bring restoration

To my soul

You’ve taken my pain

You call me by a new name

You’ve taken my shame

And in its place

You give me joy

You take my mourning

Turn it into dancing

You take my weeping

Turn it into laughing

You take my mourning

Turn it into dancing

You take my sadness

Turn it into joy

You bring restoration

You bring restoration

You bring restoration

To my soul

I hope these lyrics minister to you as well! I hope you are ever willing to allow God to heal the broken and wounded places of your life. Healing is hard work but it's a work well worth it. Besides, you never know who your healing and testimony can help! Allow God to bring restoration today!

Secret Identity

Piggybacking on yesterday's blog, the opening scene of The Incredibles starts with Mr. Incredible being interviewed and asked the question "Do you have a secret identity?" Mr. Incredible proceeds to answer "Every super hero has a secret identity. I don't know a single one who doesn't. Who wants the pressure of being super all the time?"

I would ask you the same question this morning. Do YOU have a secret identity?

I had one and it served me fairly well for awhile. But the pressure of maintaining that identity was way too hard. We may not call ourselves superhero's but we often think we are. We think we are invincible and that we have to save the world by any means necessary but thankfully that is not reality. Let me tell you a little about my secret identity. I walked around like everything was great all of the time. I always had a smile on my face. I was most always upbeat and laughing. Now, if you know me now, you may be thinking, "Natalie, that IS you!". Well, you are correct. It IS me...NOW.

Before I dealt with the pain of my past, it was all just a secret identity, a mask I would put on in the morning before I left the house just as surely as most women put on makeup. I would only take the mask off at night, in the dark, in my bed as I would cry myself to sleep at night. It was very hard to keep up the charade and the facade of who I was pretending to be. The pressure became too great and I wanted to live in the truth of who I was but also who I could become.

I was a very depressed individual but in the church world, "The joy of the Lord is your strength"(Nehemiah 8:10) and you can't be sad or have a down day...which isn't truth but it was what I was told in my church and was led to believe. While "the joy of the Lord IS your strength" (Neh 8:10), depression is a real thing and needs to be dealt with, not just skimmed over. Your issue may not be depression, it may be something else but the reality is that scripture says "The truth shall set you free" (John 8:32). Now, I am not a Bible scholar and I don't claim to be but what I have come to understand this scripture to mean is that just a knowledge of the truth won't set you free but rather what you do with that truth. Let me give you an example. I know that eating healthy and working out is good for me which is a great piece of knowledge. However, if I don't do anything with that knowledge, that doesn't mean that eating healthy and working out are not truth. It means I haven't done anything with the knowledge that I received that can help set me free. Make sense?

Freedom came for me when I acknowledged that I had a secret identity and that the pressure of having it was far too great. As I accepted this fact, I was able to deal with the true Natalie, the depressed and wounded Natalie, and to get help and healing for my soul. In doing so, the true Natalie has been healed and made whole and the joy that I pretended to have is now real and deep and true. I no longer have a secret identity. I am free to be me! I am as authentic and transparent as I can be. Yes, I have joy but I still have pain from time to time. Yes, I strive to be like Jesus every day but I still screw up. But no matter what, in the words of Popeye, "I yam what I yam and that's all that I yam!" My prayer is that you too will be able to say this soon!

Incredible Incredibles

Last night I was itching to watch the animated movie The Incredibles. Now, I have seen this movie repeatedly but last night was different as God spoke to me through 3 quotes from the movie.


Quote #1:
"What are you waiting for?"
"I dunno. Something amazing I guess!"

Let me set the quote up for you in case you have not seen this movie. Mr. Incredible is a super hero that has had to assume his secret identity as his only identity (hmm, that's good too!) and is working as an insurance salesman. He comes home from work after a crappy day and trips on a skateboard, messes up the door frame to the car and then breaks the glass on the window of the car. Frustrated and super strong, he picks up the car above his head and appears as if he is going to toss it down the street. With the car held midway in the air, Mr. Incredible sees a little boy on his tricycle is watching in such amazement that his bubble from his bubble gum pops all over his face. End scene. A few scenes later Mr. Incredible comes home and as he is getting out of his car there is the same little boy on his tricycle just staring and watching. Cue quote. Mr. Incredible, "What are you waiting for?" Little boy, "I dunno. Something amazing I guess!"

Immediately when I heard this again, I wrote it down as it spoke volumes to my soul. Our Mr. Incredible, God Almighty asks me and you this very same question. What are we waiting for?! I see this question being two fold.

One thing I can hear is the questioning of our laziness or our indifference where we respond, in a manner of speaking. that we are waiting for some awesome thing to come and inspire us or the amazing sermon to be preached to us to get us going. What ARE you waiting for? I can tell those things I WAS waiting for...a spouse, money, security, acceptance.

The other thing that I hear God asking in this question is more along the lines of our expectancy levels. What are we expecting or what are we waiting for? The little boy's response was also one of anticipation and expectancy. He was waiting for Mr. Incredible to show up! He was waiting for Mr. Incredible to do amazing things! Do we have the same expectancy of God Almighty? Do we expect him to show up on the scene of our life and do great things, amazing things? I want to have this daily attitude with the Father. I want to expect Him to show up and rock my socks off!

Quote #2:
"Your identity is your most valuable possession. Protect it!"

This quote comes when Elastigirl aka mom is talking to her kids who also have super powers. She is trying to get them to understand the power of their identity and the importance of it. Oh, how I believe God is trying to get us to grasp the same! Our identity is in Christ! When God looks at us, He sees us through the blood of Jesus and He accepts us because of that!

I once heard this concept illustrated in regards to the game Outburst. The rules of the game aren't really relevant right now but the tools used to play the game are. There are cards that have the words that are to be guessed on them but in order to see the words that are on those cards, the card has to be placed in this red holder that makes the words legible. Once the card is inserted into the holder, you can read the words perfectly but the second you take the card out, illegible again. This is just like our identity in Christ. At salvation, we are the card that is placed into the "holder" if you will which represents the blood of Jesus. The blood of Christ makes us legible or acceptable in the eyes of God and we are able to be read and understood. The world tries to give us our identity but we are in Christ. We have to protect our identity! Lord, help us to recognize our identity in You and help us to protect it!

Quote #3
"You have more power than you realize!"

To me, quote #2 and #3 go hand in hand. When we grasp our identity in Christ, we know that we are nothing without Him. And when we understand just how powerful He is, we realize that the same power that is working in Him, is working in us and we really do have more power than we realize! Lord, help us to recognize just how powerful You are as well as how powerful we are in You!

Wait expectantly for the Lord. Watch for Him to do amazing things. Don't be lazy or make excuses. Protect who you are in Him. Recognize the power that you have with Him in you.

You're Not Alone

Music speaks to me, especially when it's a God ordained song for an appointed season in my life, so you may see song lyrics on here often but I promise they will always have meaning! The song that has been ministering to my heart over the last few months and was on my lips this morning is the song You're Not Alone by Meredith Andrews. Here are the lyrics:

I search for love, when the night came,
And it closed in, I was alone,
But you found me, where I was hiding,
And now I'll never ever be the same,
It was the sweetest voice,
That called my name saying

You're not alone, For I am here,
Let me wipe away your every fear,
My love I've never left your side,
I have seen you through the darkest night,
And I'm the one who's loved you all your life,
All of your life

You cry your self to sleep, cause the hurt is real,
And the pain cuts deep, all hope seems lost,
With heartache your closest friend,
And everyone else long gone,
You've had to face the music on your own,
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
But there is a sweeter song that calls you home saying

Faithful and true, Forever,
Oh my love will carry you

We aren't alone in this walk called life, friends! Hebrews 13:5 says that God will "never leave you nor forsake you"! To forsake means to abandon; withdraw companionship, protection or support from; to give up:to give up, renounce, or sacrifice something that gives pleasure. God has promised us that He will NEVER do any of these things! He is with us always-"and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." (Matthew 28:20) Why would the God who created us and formed us in our mother's womb want to abandon us or give up on us? He is Faithful and True and full of love towards us! He knows every tear we have cried and every fear that we have. Proverbs 14:10 says "Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy". No one that is, besides Jesus! That brings me such great joy and hope and confidence!

I have been re-reading a book called Abba's Child by Brennan Manning and there is a chapter called Present Risenness. The chapter opens with a story about G.K. Chesterton who was approached by a newspaper reporter who says " Sir, I understand that you recently became a Christian. May I ask you one question?" "Certainly," replied Chesterton. "If the risen Christ suddenly appeared at this very moment and stood behind you, what would you do?" Chesterton looked the reporter squarely in the eye and said. "He is." The chapter goes on to describe how we often forget that Jesus is not only alive and well but that He is walking with us every day of our lives. Imagine if we fully grasped this concept!! We don't just go to church to meet up with Jesus. We don't just have him close when we are reading our Bible or singing a worship song. HE IS WITH US ALWAYS!!! In the shower in the morning and in my bed at night. When I am at the grocery store and when I am on campus. At a restaurant or at the doctor. HE IS WITH US ALWAYS! WE ARE NOT ALONE! Be encouraged in this fact friend!

Lord, help us to recognize your present risenness, that you are with us always and that you see all that is happening in us, around us, to us! I thank you God that you are faithful and that you can not deny your character! I thank you Lord, that I am not alone and that just like G. K. Chesterton, you are standing right behind me!

Just a Matter of Time

This morning at church our worship leader sang these prophetic lyrics and they immediately captured my heart!

Just a Matter of Time

He's gonna turn it all around
Just wait and see
He's gonna make everything beautiful
Just in time

It's just a matter of time

Don't give up
Don't give in
If you don't quit
You'll win, You'll win

Everything is in My hands
It's gonna be alright
You're gonna be ok

Interestingly enough, I just received news about a family situation that not only breaks my heart but pushes me and challenges me to pray hard, harder than I have in awhile. And while I could easily be discouraged about the seemingly impossible situation, God brought me to Luke 1:37 which says "For nothing is impossible with God."  With man, all things are impossible but with God NOTHING or NO THING is impossible! He has the ability to turn our situations around in the blink of an eye. He has the ability to make the ugliest things beautiful, IN HIS TIME! Ultimately, it's all just a matter of His timing. He just begs with us, pleads with us, challenges us to not give up or give in or quit because He knows if we don't and we trust Him it's all gonna be alright and we are gonna be ok. So, when my heart attempted to be downcast and discouraged just now, God reminded me of this prophetic song to sing over this situation to remind those involved that nothing is too hard for God and that He's got everything in His hands! I pray that you too would recognize that it's just a matter of time until He turns things around!

Grace and peace and hope friends!

Converted by Cookies, Healed by Grace

Converted by Cookies, Healed by Grace: Another Story of God’s Redeeming Love by Natalie Landry

Who would have thought cookies have life saving powers? Well, honestly, cookies were just the snack that God used to transform my life. God knew my love for cookies and that he would have a way into my heart. You will see through these pages how God not only saved my life but how He brought healing to my sexually abused past.

Baton Rouge, LA – September 1, 2010-Natalie Landry, nationally appointed  Missionary Associate with the Assemblies of God, shares  in her new book released today her life story; how she came into a relationship with God and how God healed her sexually abused past. The book, targeting victims of sexual abuse, shows how God can change a life that seems shattered and broken with his abounding grace and redeeming love.  The book was released by Outskirts Press, Inc and is available for purchase through http://outskirtspress.com/webpage.php?ISBN=9781432762131.

The book was written as a testimony of God’s love and grace but is designed to reach victims of sexual abuse and provide hope for those individuals that are hopeless and broken. This book is written with the utmost transparency and realness specifically for the purpose of helping other victims seek help and healing. The intensity of the book varies and is intermingled with both humorous and deep topics. While, it is the autobiography of Natalie Landry, it is relevant and fresh. Her story is told in a conversationalist manner and is sure to be a “can’t put down” read.

Converted by Cookies, Healed by Grace: Another Story of God’s Redeeming Love is available online at www.barnesandnobles.com, www amazon.com, http://www.booksamillion.com/ and in certain bookstores.  

For more information about Converted by Cookies, Healed by Grace: Another Story of God’s Redeeming Love by Natalie Landry, please contact Outskirts Press at 1-888-OP-BOOKS.

Natalie Landry is a nationally appointed Missionary Associate with the Assemblies of God. She will be serving the Louisiana State University campus for the 2010-2011 school year. She is a Louisiana native, born and raised in South Louisiana. Natalie earned her Bachelor's degree in Child, Family and Social Service from Nicholls State University in Thibodaux, LA. She also took Master's degree classes in Children and Family Ministries at Southwestern Assemblies of God University. This is her first novel and she hopes to write more as God allows in the future.