Peace, Be Still!

Without the active presence of the Lord in my life, I have no idea where I would be or what my life would look like. Many individuals have been led to believe that becoming a Christian solves all of your problems and that life becomes "easy, breezy, beautiful Cover Girl!" However, that is not Biblically accurate and I can tell you from my own experiences this has not proved true in my life. You see, once I gave control of my life over to the Lord, the enemy of my soul was none too pleased and the war for my heart raged on. I am not one to blame everything difficult, hard or bad on Satan because sometimes while it may feel like "the devil made me do it" oftentimes, it is my own sin nature rearing it's ugly head or unhealed wounds that are draining into my life. And sometimes, many times, the Lord sets me up for hard things so He can prove to me, once again, my need for Him. 

I can say this now that the holidays are over but I am not too fond of them.(I didn't want to be a Debbie Downer for those of you who love them!) From about November-January, I battle depression as many tend to do around this time of year. The reason being is that it becomes a very lonely time for this single girl. My family doesn't do an exceptional amount of holiday related activities except on the actual holiday. So, much of my time is spent alone and feelings of loneliness envelop me. While I try not to dwell on those emotions, too often they have consumed me. 

As I drove home to my parents' house this Christmas, I turned my radio off and just listened for the Lord. This is one of my favorite things to do on road trips as it is uninterrupted time for the Lord to speak. I believe I had been crying and placing my frustrations with the season before the Lord when He began to speak and I began to sing. Here are the words:

Peace, be still, I am with you

Peace, be still, I’m by your side

Emmanuel, I’m God with you

Prince of Peace, I bring to you

I know your heart

I see your face

And I’m right beside you

Running the race

So keep believin’, keep on trustin', keep on hopin’

‘Cause I will come through

I will come through always for you

I will come through always for you

For my delight is in you

I rejoice over you with singing

I rejoice over you

I delight in you

Though you’re lonely

Though you’re hurting

Though you’re sick

And wounded too

I am with you healing your heart

I am with you no matter what

Keep on trustin’, keep believin’

Keep on hopin’ cause I will come through

Little did I know how much I would need this song in the days and weeks to come. The lyrics have been in my head and my spirit almost without ceasing.You see, the depression, thanks to some medication, has decreased almost completely. But I have since started to experience something I have never walked through before at this level: ANXIETY. You may not know this but I am in graduate school, working towards my Master's of Social Work. I am set to graduate in May, given I pass the comprehensive exam on January 21. Yes, I said COMPREHENSIVE, meaning the last 3 years of my schooling are fair game on this 50 question test. Normally, I have some worry over school work but never before have I had actual physical symptoms of anxiety that caused me to seek medical assistance. I recognize this is a spiritual attack as well as my flesh trying to rise up and succeed in and of it's own self. I am keenly aware!

This morning, though, I came across this Scripture in Psalms 94:18-19:

When I said, "My foot is slipping," Your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul. 

Some individuals say that Christianity is a crutch and if you are going on the mere definition that a crutch provides support then I guess you are correct. But crutches can't bring joy, hope and peace in the midst of circumstances that would cause the best of us anxiety or sadness or insert emotion here. So, while I continue to let the Lord support me and bring me peace and joy, I wanted to share with you the words/the song that He gave to me. PEACE, BE STILL, HE IS WITH YOU!