On Easter Sunday, our church had a non-traditional service in which we did cardboard testimonies and then a few of us were asked to share about the story on the cardboard. I was asked to share my story, well mine and God's story :) So, here it is. I pray that it would bless you and that you too would move into more healing and freedom as you recognize His love and acceptance!
BOUND BY SHAME AND REJECTION, FREED BY LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE
Natalie Landry
Imagine with me if you will, a couple in their mid 30’s, with three children, ages 14, 12 and 9. Life is going along as they know it when one day they find out some news: they are pregnant. Well, not they, just she but you catch the drift. J What would normally be an exciting event in the life of a couple is taken in with uncertainty, fear and rejection. You see, this family was already complete. Catholic school cost a pretty penny and they were just 9 years shy of having all kids out of the house or so they thought. But along came this news and in 9 months would come this child. The one hope for this child was that it would be a boy, Matthew, to even out the 2 to 1 sibling ratio. The 9 grueling months passed by and this family would finally get to welcome baby into the world, baby girl that is. Not Matthew but a girl. Me J I was born into this world, not what anyone expected or really even wanted and I knew it. I don’t know how but my earliest memory tells me that I was unwanted, rejected. Life went on for me and rejection was the theme. Starting at age 6, shame was added to the rejection mix as I was sexually abused by a neighborhood girl. She wanted to play doctors but took it to a whole different level. The shame and rejection escalated as I felt like I never fit in anywhere, in my family, at school. I sought my refuge in sports and in making others laugh, anything to hide my pain. I became a people pleaser to gain some level of acceptance from those around me, my teachers, my parents, my coaches. Of course, when I failed and couldn’t attain that perfection, the acceptance was taken away only furthering my roots in rejection. When it came to God, I only knew him as a huge dictator in heaven to be wary of because He knew all I had done and He wasn’t too pleased. I saw Him as a giant police officer ready to pull me over at the most minor of infraction. I had never heard of a relationship with Him only that I needed to follow these rules and be a good person and then I might be able to make it to heaven. But the problem I had was what was good? And how good is good enough? No one could answer that for me. I sought out counsel with my church and my questions only led me to being chastised for asking or I received answers such as “This is what we’ve always done”. But I was hungry. I needed answers and I needed to know that someone could love me unconditionally and accept me for who I was, mess and all. Little did I know that the God of the Universe not only saw me but knew me and wanted a love relationship with me. He pursued me with cookies. Chocolate chip ones at that! God knew I loved chocolate chip cookies. God knew that I would take a chocolate chip cookie even if it was from a stranger and that is precisely what happened. I was 18 and had just gotten to campus at Nicholls State University. I had moved into my dorm room the weekend before classes started and was quite upset that all my roommates wanted to do was drink and party and smoke. Those things were not “good” and definitely not something I, people pleaser, wanted to be a part of. That Sunday night, I called my sister in tears. My roommates had gone out and I had the room to myself. My sister’s words to me that night were, “You need to find a Christian group on campus.” I thought that sounded like a good plan. So the very next day as I walked through the student union, I noticed a massive bowl of chocolate chip cookies. A student offered me one and of course I gladly accepted. I asked why they were giving away free cookies and they said they were a Christian group called Chi Alpha and they just wanted to invite people to their welcome week activities. I was completely floored knowing the conversation I had the night before with my sister. I took the calendar of events and went to each one that week. That Thursday night was what was called Thursday Night Live. I likened that it would something similar to Saturday Night Live but boy, was I wrong. I entered the theater and took a seat near the middle just before the event began. This was no ordinary event, this was church. From the get-go, I was in tears and I remained that way the entire time. I cannot tell you exactly what went on in that theater but I can tell you I walked out changed, I walked out a Christian. I had given my life to Jesus and had asked for a relationship with the God of Creation. The next few months and even years was learning about this intimate partnership. To say that coming into a relationship with Christ granted me unconditional love and acceptance would be true however, sometimes we don’t access all that we are eligible for because we lack the knowledge, understanding and even freedom to walk in that truth. See, I just got a new phone as I was eligible for an upgrade. While I know the basics of how to make a call and how to text, I am completely unaware of all that my phone is capable of. I was just like this in my walk with Christ. I had gotten the upgrade, which we will call salvation. And I had learned the basic functions of Christianity but I was unaware of the freedom via his unconditional love and acceptance, i.e. all that was available to me. A few months ago, God put me in a place to have this revelation. I had grown into greater levels of healing and freedom over the years but even as a Christian, a shame cloud followed me around and I still felt enslaved to rejection. In an intense prayer time with some good friends, God performed major heart surgery. God took me back to the place where the rejection began, in the womb. And He literally walked me out of that place into the place of knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt His unconditional love and acceptance. It still feels weird at times to know that no matter what I do or could ever do, that He would love me anyway. God is not the big dictator or angry policeman that I once thought. He is a compassionate Father, an intimate lover who would do anything, who did everything, to bring us into relationship with himself. He loves me! He accepts me! And friend, He loves and accepts you too!
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
A Whole New World
A Whole New World
The other night I was driving home and was just in conversation with my Father. I was thanking Him for all He has been doing in my life and I felt Him say, "I am taking you to a whole new world!" Now, I grew up a Disney kid and one of my favorite characters was the Genie of the Lamp from Aladdin. So, immediately, my attention went to Aladdin, particularly when Aladdin sings the song A Whole New World. I started singing it that night, reminiscent of days of old and when talking with a friend later that night, I shared that God has been taking me to "A Whole New World" and testified of the things that He has been doing.
The other night I was driving home and was just in conversation with my Father. I was thanking Him for all He has been doing in my life and I felt Him say, "I am taking you to a whole new world!" Now, I grew up a Disney kid and one of my favorite characters was the Genie of the Lamp from Aladdin. So, immediately, my attention went to Aladdin, particularly when Aladdin sings the song A Whole New World. I started singing it that night, reminiscent of days of old and when talking with a friend later that night, I shared that God has been taking me to "A Whole New World" and testified of the things that He has been doing.
Now, fast forward to this morning. I was reading in Hebrews in my quiet time with Him and He once again reminded me of this idea of "A Whole New World." When God repeats Himself, I pay attention and so I stopped reading to look up the lyrics for the song. Here they are:
A Whole New World
I can show you the world
Shining, shimmering, splendid
Tell me, princess, now when did
You last let your heart decide?
I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways and under
On a magic carpet ride
Shining, shimmering, splendid
Tell me, princess, now when did
You last let your heart decide?
I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways and under
On a magic carpet ride
A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no
Or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming
A whole new world
A dazzling place I never knew
But when I'm way up here
It's crystal clear
That now I'm in a whole new world with you
Now I'm in a whole new world with you
Unbelievable sights
Indescribable feeling
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling
Through an endless diamond sky
A whole new world
Don't you dare close your eyes
A hundred thousand things to see
Hold your breath - it gets better
Hold your breath - it gets better
I'm like a shooting star
I've come so far
I can't go back to where I used to be
A whole new world
I've come so far
I can't go back to where I used to be
A whole new world
Every turn a surprise
With new horizons to pursue
With new horizons to pursue
Every moment red-letter
I'll chase them anywhere
There's time to spare
Let me share this whole new world with you
A whole new world
That's where we'll be
A thrilling chase
A wondrous place
For you and me
I'll chase them anywhere
There's time to spare
Let me share this whole new world with you
A whole new world
That's where we'll be
A thrilling chase
A wondrous place
For you and me
Now, I took the liberty of higlighting in red the lyrics that Aladdin sings because this morning as I read them and listened to the song, I literally heard God singing them to me. He is perpetually pursuing me, wanting to take me to a whole new world with Him. And the amazing thing is that He is!
One thing I find interesting is that Jasmine sings "every moment red-letter". And immediately my mind goes to God's word where often the words that Jesus speaks are identified with red letters. Now consider that every moment of our lives are touched by God himself, by His red letters!
One thing I find interesting is that Jasmine sings "every moment red-letter". And immediately my mind goes to God's word where often the words that Jesus speaks are identified with red letters. Now consider that every moment of our lives are touched by God himself, by His red letters!
I pray that as you listen to Aladdin sing this song to Jasmine, that you will allow the God of the Universe to sing it to your heart! He is in passionate pursuit of you friend! Allow Him to chase you down and sing this over you!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
The Love Rule
The Love Rule
God woke me up this morning with this message to share today so I know this will hit home.
In Matthew 19, Jesus has been talking with the rich young ruler. The ruler is asking Jesus what "good thing" must I do to inherit eternal life.(vs.16) Jesus tells him that the only one good is God but to inherit eternal life, all the ruler has to do is obey God's commands. (vs. 17) "Obedience is God's love language." (Wisdom Hunters, 2/24/2011) I find it interesting that the ruler asks Jesus, "Which ones?" (vs. 18) How often do we do the same thing and pick and choose which of God's commands or rules we want to follow. Jesus replies to the ruler's question by saying this, " 'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother' and 'love your neighbor as yourself.' " (vs .19) Basically, Jesus started telling the ruler specifics of not murdering, committing adultery but then He sums it up by saying, ultimately, what I want you to do is to 'love your neighbor as yourself.'
This idea has always intrigued me and more so now than ever. You see, I never really loved myself before. I tolerated myself, I liked certain parts about myself but I did not, in any way, shape or form, love myself. I couldn't, for one reason and for one reason alone, I didn't know the extent of the love of my Daddy God. I thought that God screwed up in creating me. I thought I was an accident. I thought I was unworthy of love. So, as I tried to follow the command of loving your neighbor as yourself, I would fail every time because I didn't love me and I couldn't comprehend God's love for me.
Recently, all of this has changed as my eyes have been opened to my Daddy's love. He created everything about me, just as He desired, before the foundation of the Earth! Not only did He create me but He loves me with an everlasting, unconditional love. He loves me so much that He sent Jesus as an atonement for my sins so that I would be able to be in perpetual communion with Him! He loves me sooo much! Understanding and recognizing His love has propelled me into a love for myself that I have never known before. And as a result, my love for Him is growing and my ability to love my neighbor as myself is actually real. Because I love Natalie, I can love you, my neighbor.
Let's look at this on an even more practical level and in looking at love in light of 1 Corinthians 13:3-8:
I am patient with myself and others because I knows God is patient with me. (2 Peter 3:9)
I am kind to myself and others because I know God is full of loving-kindness. (Ps 31:3)
I am not envious of others because I know God has designed and created me just as He wanted and He will give me those things He wants me to have. (Ps 139: 13-16)
I am not boastful because I know that in my flesh there is no good thing but instead I boast in the Lord. (1 Cor 1:31)
I am not proud because I know that God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. (James 4:6)
I am not rude because I know that this life is not about me but serving Him and serving others. (Php 2:3-4)
I am not self-seeking because I am called to look after the interests of others. (Php 2:3-4)
I am not easily angered with myself or others because God is slow to get angry with me. (Ps 103:8)
I no longer keep records of wrongs done by myself and by others because God keeps no record of my sins. (Is 43:25)
I do not delight in evil but rather in truth of God's word. (1 Tim 2:4)
I always protect myself and others because I know God protects me. (Ps 32:7)
I always trust the Jesus in me and lead not on my own understanding. (Pr 3:5-6)
I always hope the best for myself and for others because I know my hope comes from God. (Ps 62:5)
I always persevere for myself and for others because I will receive what He has promised. (Heb 10:36)
I will try not to fail myself or others but I know that I am flesh and blood and am incapable of perfection. But instead of coming under condemnation, I will repent of my sins and failures and allow God's grace and love to cover over the multitude of my sins and the sins of others. (1 Peter 4:8)
Daddy, I am so thankful that you have loved me with a never-ending love. I am thankful that you have helped me to learn to love the unique creation that you have so rightly called Natalie. I am thankful that as an outpouring of my love for you and my love for self, I am truly able to love my neighbors as I love myself thus following the love rule. I pray for my friends that are in desperate need of knowing your love because only when we do, can we truly love ourselves. I pray that you would reveal Your love to them in tangible ways today and that the eyes of their hearts would be open to see and receive it all. I thank you for bringing this to pass! I love you Daddy!
God woke me up this morning with this message to share today so I know this will hit home.
In Matthew 19, Jesus has been talking with the rich young ruler. The ruler is asking Jesus what "good thing" must I do to inherit eternal life.(vs.16) Jesus tells him that the only one good is God but to inherit eternal life, all the ruler has to do is obey God's commands. (vs. 17) "Obedience is God's love language." (Wisdom Hunters, 2/24/2011) I find it interesting that the ruler asks Jesus, "Which ones?" (vs. 18) How often do we do the same thing and pick and choose which of God's commands or rules we want to follow. Jesus replies to the ruler's question by saying this, " 'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother' and 'love your neighbor as yourself.' " (vs .19) Basically, Jesus started telling the ruler specifics of not murdering, committing adultery but then He sums it up by saying, ultimately, what I want you to do is to 'love your neighbor as yourself.'
This idea has always intrigued me and more so now than ever. You see, I never really loved myself before. I tolerated myself, I liked certain parts about myself but I did not, in any way, shape or form, love myself. I couldn't, for one reason and for one reason alone, I didn't know the extent of the love of my Daddy God. I thought that God screwed up in creating me. I thought I was an accident. I thought I was unworthy of love. So, as I tried to follow the command of loving your neighbor as yourself, I would fail every time because I didn't love me and I couldn't comprehend God's love for me.
Recently, all of this has changed as my eyes have been opened to my Daddy's love. He created everything about me, just as He desired, before the foundation of the Earth! Not only did He create me but He loves me with an everlasting, unconditional love. He loves me so much that He sent Jesus as an atonement for my sins so that I would be able to be in perpetual communion with Him! He loves me sooo much! Understanding and recognizing His love has propelled me into a love for myself that I have never known before. And as a result, my love for Him is growing and my ability to love my neighbor as myself is actually real. Because I love Natalie, I can love you, my neighbor.
Let's look at this on an even more practical level and in looking at love in light of 1 Corinthians 13:3-8:
I am patient with myself and others because I knows God is patient with me. (2 Peter 3:9)
I am kind to myself and others because I know God is full of loving-kindness. (Ps 31:3)
I am not envious of others because I know God has designed and created me just as He wanted and He will give me those things He wants me to have. (Ps 139: 13-16)
I am not boastful because I know that in my flesh there is no good thing but instead I boast in the Lord. (1 Cor 1:31)
I am not proud because I know that God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. (James 4:6)
I am not rude because I know that this life is not about me but serving Him and serving others. (Php 2:3-4)
I am not self-seeking because I am called to look after the interests of others. (Php 2:3-4)
I am not easily angered with myself or others because God is slow to get angry with me. (Ps 103:8)
I no longer keep records of wrongs done by myself and by others because God keeps no record of my sins. (Is 43:25)
I do not delight in evil but rather in truth of God's word. (1 Tim 2:4)
I always protect myself and others because I know God protects me. (Ps 32:7)
I always trust the Jesus in me and lead not on my own understanding. (Pr 3:5-6)
I always hope the best for myself and for others because I know my hope comes from God. (Ps 62:5)
I always persevere for myself and for others because I will receive what He has promised. (Heb 10:36)
I will try not to fail myself or others but I know that I am flesh and blood and am incapable of perfection. But instead of coming under condemnation, I will repent of my sins and failures and allow God's grace and love to cover over the multitude of my sins and the sins of others. (1 Peter 4:8)
Daddy, I am so thankful that you have loved me with a never-ending love. I am thankful that you have helped me to learn to love the unique creation that you have so rightly called Natalie. I am thankful that as an outpouring of my love for you and my love for self, I am truly able to love my neighbors as I love myself thus following the love rule. I pray for my friends that are in desperate need of knowing your love because only when we do, can we truly love ourselves. I pray that you would reveal Your love to them in tangible ways today and that the eyes of their hearts would be open to see and receive it all. I thank you for bringing this to pass! I love you Daddy!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
What Compels You?
What compels you?
I started reading in 2 Corinthians this morning and came across this verse in Chapter 5:14-15, " For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who love should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again."
According to Merriam-Webster, the word COMPEL means:
1. to drive or urge forcefully or irresistibly
2. to cause to do or occur by overwhelming pressure
3. to drive together
When we look at these definitions in light of the previous verse, Christ's love should drive us or urge us forcefully and irresistibly to live for him and not for ourselves. Unfortunately, we allow other things to compel us rather than Christ's love.
Looking back to about a week and a half ago, I can tell you the very thing that compelled me and I think it may be the very thing that compels you. That thing that drove me and compelled me was: FEAR! Fear of what you may ask, well, here's the list:
fear of rejection
fear of failure
fear of shame
fear of success
fear of people's opinions
fear of self
fear of poverty
fear of authority
fear of loss
fear of punishment
I lived my life serving fear and allowing it to compel every action that I took. Now, some of those were subconscious but nonetheless, fear was what compelled me.
In my personal ministry session, that I mentioned in previous blogs, one of the many things we dealt with was the spirit of fear. Fear keeps us bound in so many ways, more than I have time to tell you about right now. But that Saturday, God broke that spirit of fear and that is no longer what compels me! 1 John 4:18 says,
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." His perfect love has cast out, driven out, that fear that kept me bound. And now, I can say that Christ's love truly does compel me! He loved me first and I get to reciprocate that love by living my life for Him! I get to love on people every day as a representative of His love! His love compels me!
So, what compels you? Ask God to show you. And I pray that you would come to this place that God has so recently brought me, allowing Christ's love to compel you and nothing else!
I started reading in 2 Corinthians this morning and came across this verse in Chapter 5:14-15, " For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who love should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again."
According to Merriam-Webster, the word COMPEL means:
1. to drive or urge forcefully or irresistibly
2. to cause to do or occur by overwhelming pressure
3. to drive together
When we look at these definitions in light of the previous verse, Christ's love should drive us or urge us forcefully and irresistibly to live for him and not for ourselves. Unfortunately, we allow other things to compel us rather than Christ's love.
Looking back to about a week and a half ago, I can tell you the very thing that compelled me and I think it may be the very thing that compels you. That thing that drove me and compelled me was: FEAR! Fear of what you may ask, well, here's the list:
fear of rejection
fear of failure
fear of shame
fear of success
fear of people's opinions
fear of self
fear of poverty
fear of authority
fear of loss
fear of punishment
I lived my life serving fear and allowing it to compel every action that I took. Now, some of those were subconscious but nonetheless, fear was what compelled me.
In my personal ministry session, that I mentioned in previous blogs, one of the many things we dealt with was the spirit of fear. Fear keeps us bound in so many ways, more than I have time to tell you about right now. But that Saturday, God broke that spirit of fear and that is no longer what compels me! 1 John 4:18 says,
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." His perfect love has cast out, driven out, that fear that kept me bound. And now, I can say that Christ's love truly does compel me! He loved me first and I get to reciprocate that love by living my life for Him! I get to love on people every day as a representative of His love! His love compels me!
So, what compels you? Ask God to show you. And I pray that you would come to this place that God has so recently brought me, allowing Christ's love to compel you and nothing else!
Monday, February 14, 2011
Wouldn't Change a Thing!
I am my Beloved's and HE IS MINE!!!
You know as well as I, that today, Valentine's Day is the day that all attention is focused on the ones we love or for some, the love that you don't feel exists. In times past, I saw Valentine's Day as Single's Awareness Day (SAD) and chalked the day up to just another commercialized holiday. But today, things are different.
I told you guys the other day about a ministry session that I was having on Saturday and that I was expecting Jesus to rock my socks off. And boy, did he show up! I am unable to fully express all that God did through the 9 hours of prayer on Saturday but I can say I AM CHANGED! I am walking in the peace that the Bible says "passes all understanding!" (Philippians 4:7) I am so completely and totally aware of my Father's love! I call His name and instantly I feel His presence! I am celebrating the life that He has given me, not the things but the breath, the soul, and the body that He has created! I am realizing how hidden in Christ I am and just how forgiven I am, completely! I am seeing His grace at work in my life and sensing His presence in such a way that I have never felt before! I know that He has accepted me, completely and totally because HE MADE ME!
This morning, I was listening to KLOVE and was tuned in for when Matthew West shared his new love song that he wrote specifically for a couple that had written in and shared their love story. I knew it was meant specifically for them but God spoke so clearly and loudly through the song titled Wouldn't Change a Thing. He spoke and told me that He wouldn't change a thing about me, that He loves me just like I am! Jesus is my Valentine! He's the best Valentine a girl could ask for (a guy too for that matter)! His love is far better than what anyone else can offer! So, if today, you are struggling with the fact that it's Valentine's Day or even if you just need to feel some love, know that YOU are dearly loved by the Creator of the Universe, the God of Heaven and Earth! HE LOVES YOU!!! Jesus was priceless and He died for you meaning that YOU are priceless too!!!
My prayer for us is the same thing that Paul prayed over the Ephesians:
And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. -Ephesians 3:17-19
Remember, God Almighty Wouldn't Change a Thing About YOU!
To check out the Matthew West song, click here:
http://www.klove.com/promodetails.aspx?i=5531
You know as well as I, that today, Valentine's Day is the day that all attention is focused on the ones we love or for some, the love that you don't feel exists. In times past, I saw Valentine's Day as Single's Awareness Day (SAD) and chalked the day up to just another commercialized holiday. But today, things are different.
I told you guys the other day about a ministry session that I was having on Saturday and that I was expecting Jesus to rock my socks off. And boy, did he show up! I am unable to fully express all that God did through the 9 hours of prayer on Saturday but I can say I AM CHANGED! I am walking in the peace that the Bible says "passes all understanding!" (Philippians 4:7) I am so completely and totally aware of my Father's love! I call His name and instantly I feel His presence! I am celebrating the life that He has given me, not the things but the breath, the soul, and the body that He has created! I am realizing how hidden in Christ I am and just how forgiven I am, completely! I am seeing His grace at work in my life and sensing His presence in such a way that I have never felt before! I know that He has accepted me, completely and totally because HE MADE ME!
This morning, I was listening to KLOVE and was tuned in for when Matthew West shared his new love song that he wrote specifically for a couple that had written in and shared their love story. I knew it was meant specifically for them but God spoke so clearly and loudly through the song titled Wouldn't Change a Thing. He spoke and told me that He wouldn't change a thing about me, that He loves me just like I am! Jesus is my Valentine! He's the best Valentine a girl could ask for (a guy too for that matter)! His love is far better than what anyone else can offer! So, if today, you are struggling with the fact that it's Valentine's Day or even if you just need to feel some love, know that YOU are dearly loved by the Creator of the Universe, the God of Heaven and Earth! HE LOVES YOU!!! Jesus was priceless and He died for you meaning that YOU are priceless too!!!
My prayer for us is the same thing that Paul prayed over the Ephesians:
And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. -Ephesians 3:17-19
Remember, God Almighty Wouldn't Change a Thing About YOU!
To check out the Matthew West song, click here:
http://www.klove.com/promodetails.aspx?i=5531
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Jesus and Socks!
Jesus is about to rock my socks off!!!!!
If you look back over my posts, you will notice some despair but also the hope of God showing up as He is doing this next level of healing work in my life. Well, that hope has continued to increase and grow to the point that I can hardly sleep at night from sheer excitement!!!
My facebook posts the last few day have been talking about the spirit of expectancy that I am consumed with these days. And today is a pivotal part of what I believe God wants to do in my life right now. I have a ministry session today in which I will receive prayer and God will be able to do the heart surgery that He is wanting to do to bring the healing and freedom that I am so desperately craving. I literally feel like a kid at Christmas waiting to open the present of today!
I have no idea what is actually going to happen today but I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is going to showing up and that Jesus is GOING TO ROCK MY SOCKS OFF!! (For His glory, no doubt!)
I'll be sure to let you know what happens :) Enjoy this song that I am listening to in order to prepare my heart! :)
If you look back over my posts, you will notice some despair but also the hope of God showing up as He is doing this next level of healing work in my life. Well, that hope has continued to increase and grow to the point that I can hardly sleep at night from sheer excitement!!!
My facebook posts the last few day have been talking about the spirit of expectancy that I am consumed with these days. And today is a pivotal part of what I believe God wants to do in my life right now. I have a ministry session today in which I will receive prayer and God will be able to do the heart surgery that He is wanting to do to bring the healing and freedom that I am so desperately craving. I literally feel like a kid at Christmas waiting to open the present of today!
I have no idea what is actually going to happen today but I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is going to showing up and that Jesus is GOING TO ROCK MY SOCKS OFF!! (For His glory, no doubt!)
I'll be sure to let you know what happens :) Enjoy this song that I am listening to in order to prepare my heart! :)
Sunday, February 6, 2011
You Are for Me
Sorry friends for the lack of posts this week. I have been sick and haven't felt much like writing but today I felt the need to process a little.
The past few weeks have been extremely difficult for me. God is doing a deep work in me and I find myself completely broken before Him. He has stirred up the recesses of my heart and brought things to light that I have yet to deal with or things that I have only dealt with on the surface. Sometimes, we chop down the weed but if we don't get it from the roots, we have to deal with it again. Other times, we get some of the roots, but not all. The weeds don't have to be sin issues, although they very well can be, it just depends.
Among those things that have been brought to light are my mistaken views of God. You may have heard it said that we view God in light of our earthly fathers. Sadly though, our earthly fathers are doing the best they can in this fallen world and can never truly reflect the love of our Heavenly Father. One of those things that I often forget is that God is for me, especially in my broken state as Psalm 34:18 says: The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. I still don't know that I have fully grasped this concept but I am working on it and God is slowly showing me His true nature and His true character. With that said, He and I are also having to tear down those false beliefs that I have grabbed a hold of for so long and that, too, is a difficult process. Thankfully though, I believe we will get there! In the meantime, I am allowing Kari Jobe to remind me that God is for me! Here's the song if you want to listen.
The past few weeks have been extremely difficult for me. God is doing a deep work in me and I find myself completely broken before Him. He has stirred up the recesses of my heart and brought things to light that I have yet to deal with or things that I have only dealt with on the surface. Sometimes, we chop down the weed but if we don't get it from the roots, we have to deal with it again. Other times, we get some of the roots, but not all. The weeds don't have to be sin issues, although they very well can be, it just depends.
Among those things that have been brought to light are my mistaken views of God. You may have heard it said that we view God in light of our earthly fathers. Sadly though, our earthly fathers are doing the best they can in this fallen world and can never truly reflect the love of our Heavenly Father. One of those things that I often forget is that God is for me, especially in my broken state as Psalm 34:18 says: The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. I still don't know that I have fully grasped this concept but I am working on it and God is slowly showing me His true nature and His true character. With that said, He and I are also having to tear down those false beliefs that I have grabbed a hold of for so long and that, too, is a difficult process. Thankfully though, I believe we will get there! In the meantime, I am allowing Kari Jobe to remind me that God is for me! Here's the song if you want to listen.
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