Things I Have Learned In The Slammer (At Least While Working In One)

I have spent the last 5 months in the slammer. A men's prison to be exact. As a female social worker. My out date is November 21, 2014. Some people go to prison and they come out the same way they went in. Others learn from their mistakes, they learn about themselves and they become better citizens. And yet, still others, like me, learn from their experiences and take the knowledge/wisdom on to the next part of the journey. 

When I tell people I am leaving my "dream job" after working there for only 5 months, they are kind of at a loss for words. You see, ever since my interactions with a ministry called Insight for Inmates back in 2001, I have been hooked on prison ministry and have had a heart for inmates. So, it would make perfect sense that when a social work job opened up in a men's prison that I would be totally pumped, which I was. But as I said before, the slammer will teach you things, whether you want to learn them or not. The following is a list of both serious and humorous lessons I have learned about myself, inmates and the prison system in general. 

1. I am not a mean person. 

You know, no one has ever called me a mean person but I, like everyone, battle with the occasional mean thoughst, comments or actions. But the thing about prison, is that working in that environment, a certain level of sternness, meanness and even straight up ignoring is required. If you know me at all, I can have moments of sternness when necessary but that is not in my nature and being dismissive of a manipulating complaint is certainly not a part of my compassionate soul. While I have learned to have very strict boundaries, to not let inmates walk all over me as well as staff, I am a little too compassionate and sensitive to work with this population on a regular basis.  

2. Throwing urine and feces is a fairly common tactic to get attention but it really does no good.

Sometimes, I really have thought I was working at a daycare, especially when I have to go down the tier to check on an inmate's mental status and wind up fussing at them for acting like a 2 year old! THROWING PEE AND POOP DOES NOT SOLVE PROBLEMS!!! Good thing I can't smell!

3. I am no longer naive Natalie. 

Before I found myself working in the prison setting, I was pretty naive, gullible, innocent, etc. But after dealing with the most manipulative of individuals and with the most severe personality disorders, I can no longer be called naive. It's actually kind of funny now because the guys know me as someone who doesn't play around.

4. Paper suicide gowns do absolutely nothing to cover the human body. 

(This is pretty self-explanatory.)

5. Inmates are people too. 

This will probably be one of the more controversial lessons I have learned but I kind of knew it before I went in the slammer. These guys have made bad choices. Some more than others. And they are paying for their crimes behind bars. But they are still human. They still have feelings. Some really have learned their lesson. Some really want to do better. Some could care less. Some will remain the same as when they walked through the gates. Either way, they are people. People who have had some traumatic experiences in their past. People who have literally lost everything and everyone because the path they chose. I am not making excuses for them but if you could sit across from them and hear their stories, you would realize that it very well could be you (or me) in the orange jumpsuit. 

6. I have seen way more butts and fronts than I ever want to see. 

Thanks in part to guys showering or using the bathroom while I am on the tier, guys being in the wonderful paper suicide gowns, and guys not being allowed clothes because they lit them on fire, I have reached my quota! Dear future husband, I have eyes only for you!

7. I like to be busy. 

I kinda knew this one about myself considering my Type A personality and all but I REALLY hate to be bored at work. 

8. I am SUPER efficient and pretty much could be labeled as with an Obsessive Compulsive personality.

I like things done well, quickly, and in the most efficient manner possible. My Obsessive Compulsive personality helps me do that. 

9. We never really understand God's plan for our lives. 

When I first began working at the prison, I was on cloud 9! It was a dream come true, getting paid to do undercover prison ministry!! But the reality is that prison ministry is very different than prison social work. Yes, I have had several opportunities to pray with guys while at work but the nature of prison social work is quite different than the former. As time has gone on, I have realized that I still enjoy prison ministry but I am not cut out for prison social work at this time. But God had to help me realize that and He did so pretty quick. I thought I would be working at the prison for many years but here I am 5 months later about to start a new job in less than 2 weeks. 

10. Sometimes the journey is not as important as the people you meet along the way. 

While I still kind of beat myself up for not being able to do prison social work at this juncture in my life when I have been so sure of it all along, I have learned the value of the people you meet along the way. If God's sole purpose in having me work at a prison was to meet just one of those guys and influence them for good, then it's all been worth it. If God's sole purpose was for me to meet a friend like my buddy Gulino, then it was worth it. All of the weekends worked, all of the night shifts have all been worth it!

Now, the journey continues with a different paragraph, chapter, and page or however you want to look at it. As of November 24, 2014, I will be working at a psychiatric hospital with female patients. I will no longer be working nights or weekends, strictly days. And I am happy about this transition. But I will never forget the things I have learned in the slammer. And I hope you can learn something from my experiences too!