Sunday, January 8, 2012

The Power of Laying Down!

I like naps. I like sleep. In actuality, I just like to lay down. Period. And while it is very easy for me to lay my physical body down, it has been a horse of a different color to lay other things down. The Cheez-its. The chocolate chip cookies. My friendships and relationships. My desire to strive and be perfect. My EXPECTATIONS!

In reality, it all boils down to my EXPECTATIONS! In times past, I expected the Cheez-its and the cookies to fill the hunger that lingered in my soul. I expected my friendships and relationships to numb the fear of abandonment. And I expected my "perfect" performance, in all areas of my life, to finally get that seemingly un-obtainable goal of acceptance. And despite my expectations, I was ALWAYS let down! You see, I expected things and people to meet the needs in my life that only God can fill.

A few months ago, in some face time with the Lord, I heard Him call me "Gomer". I thought I knew who Gomer was but just to make sure, I looked her up in Scripture (yes, Gomer is a she!). And there she was, in the small book of Hosea. Hosea was a prophet that God called to marry. Not just to marry anyone but specifically, a prostitute (as a physical representation of God and the Israelites). And guess what the name of the prostitue was.....yep, Gomer! While, I wanted to be offended at the Lord for calling me Gomer, especially when my occupation has never been that of a prostitue, the Lord began to bring clarity. As I re-read the story of Hosea and Gomer, God brought to light that it wasn't so much the fact that Gomer was a prostitute but that she kept chasing after other lovers or other things that she thought and expected would bring her the satisfaction that she needed and desperately wanted. She was in pursuit of, chasing and serving idols. OUCH! (God, can I get my name changed back to Natalie?!)

Now, in 2012, we wouldn't say that we serve "idols" as that was so Old Testament! But let me give you this definition of idols that I read in a book called "The Peacemaker": An idol is anything apart from God that we depend on to be happy, fulfilled or secure; something other than God that we set our heart on, that motivates us, that masters and rules us or that we trust, fear or serve; something we love and pursue more than God.  Does this definition help? :) You see, I depended on and EXPECTED food, and people and striving to be happy, fulfilled and secure. I set my heart on my EXPECTATIONS of those things and I literally trusted, feared and served them!

There is a book that I have yet to read but the title is "When I Lay My Isaac Down" by Carol Kent. But I want to use her title to bring all of this together. For years, I tried to "lay down" the food, "lay down" my relationships, "lay down" my striving but to no avail. But through the graciousness and mercy of the Lord, He has revealed that the "thing(s)" that I needed to lay down, were my EXPECTATIONS! And friend, there is power in laying them down!

I no longer expect food or people to meet the needs in my life that only God can fill. I go to God and He affirms, comforts, loves and accepts me! Of course, I still have to eat and I still have relationships, but the main thing that has happened is the laying down of those expectations. I would love to say it is a one time deal and that once you lay the expectations down then you are set. But the reality is that every day, God shows me those EXPECTATIONS that I didn't even know were there! Like, on Friday, when I expected my day to go one way and it took a total detour. Or on Saturday and in the days prior as God had me dying to and laying down my birthday expectations.

The really cool thing is that once we lay down our expectations and look to the Lord alone for fulfillment, it gives Him the room to do exceedingly, abundantly more than we can think, ask or imagine (and I would add, expect!)! While it is a process, and a journey we will be on for the remainder of our days here on earth, there is power in laying down!

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Every Thought Captive

This morning I woke up with a new attitude and perspective about a situation that has been plaguing me which is a total answer to prayer. My prayer had been to change me or the situation. Well, God was gracious enough to change my view of the situation which is exactly what I needed. The situation remains the same but the Lord reminded me about taking every thought captive in my Jesus time today.

God directed me back to 2 Corinthians 10:5 in The Message which says "We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosphies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting EVERY LOOSE THOUGHT and EMOTION and IMPULSE into the structure of life shaped by Christ."

This right here is why I enjoy reading in both the NIV and Message Bibles because I am able to glean deeper truths and more practical applications. Okay, so NIV says to "take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ." But The Message takes it further and talks about those loose thoughts, emotions and impulses. If you are anything like me, you have a lot of those "loose" thoughts. I think these thoughts to which they are referring are those seemingly random, out of nowhere thoughts that the enemy likes to hurl at us when we least expect it. THESE thoughts are the ones that we are directed to take captive because they are the ones that influence our emotions which influence our impulses and attitudes. If we can control our thinking as we are directed here to do, we can control our emotions and our impulses which is HUGE! So, I challenge you this morning as the Lord has challenged me to think about what you are thinking about. Watch out for loose thoughts. Check your emotions and impulses and allow God to bring truth.

Lord, I thank you for changing me and my perspective on this situation in my life. I thank you for reminding me of the truth and of the importance of taking thoughts, emotions and impulses to you and making them obedient to Christ. Lord, give me greater levels of clarity and wisdom and help me to recognize the loose thoughts that don't line up with You and Your Word. Holy Spirit, lead me and guide me into all truth! Amen! :)

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

The First Game of Hide and Seek

This morning as I was in the place that God speaks to me, often the most clearly, the shower, God started speaking to me about "the first game of hide and seek". I knew immediately where He was going with this idea as He has been having me re-read the book Captivating By John and Stasi Eldredge. Much of the book refers to Adam and Eve, the consequences of their disobedience and then the provision of God to bring healing and restoration to us, their descendants. But even more than the reading of this book, God has been leading and showing me that I have been playing my own game of hide and seek with him. Before I get ahead of myself though, let me give you the Scriptures.

Genesis 2: But for Adam[f] no suitable helper was found. 21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[g] and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib[h] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
 23 The man said,
   “This is now bone of my bones
   and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
   for she was taken out of man.”

 24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
 25 Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

The verse that stuck out to me was verse 25, Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
But oh how the story transitions. Let's read Genesis 3.

1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”
 2 The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3 but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”
 4 “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. 5 “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
 6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. 7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.
 8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?”
 10 He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”
 11 And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”

You have heard this story before, I know that. But what the Lord was reminding me of this morning as I re-read this story with fresh eyes is that since the first game of "Hide and Seek" we have never stopped playing the game! It literally has been the "game" that NEVER ENDS! We were shame free at the start of creation and in a few verses the story drastically changed and we have been condemned by our sin, walking in our shame, turning to "fig leaves" to cover us and "hiding" from the only One who can "find" us and SAVE us! Yes, we might be "saved" from hell but living in shame and condemnation (from the sins we have already confessed and He has forgiven) is not the path we have to continue walking in.

In some FACE TIME with the Lord yesterday, He gently showed me how continuing to walk in regret and shame is to not fully embrace the work that He completed on the cross. He knows that I am a wretched sinner, unable to do anything right on my own despite my many attempts but HE DIED FOR THAT SINNER! I have "known" that but I haven't KNOWN that until yesterday.
Yesterday, the Lord "looked" for me again and this time I allowed myself to be "found". As I laid face down, tears of shame streaming down my face as I repented yet again, the Lord graciously lifted my head and showed me His love. He showed me how much He cares and has always cared and He has brought me out of HIDING! The game of Hide and Seek CAN end. All it takes is the "hidden one" to come out of "hiding" and allow themselves to be "found".

Thank you Lord for never giving up the "search" for me! You knew where I was all the time and you had your eyes on me through it all but you are so gentle and gracious in that you waited for me to respond and to bring me out of hiding! Help me to stand up against the lies of the enemy that would try to bring shame around again and to walk in the truth that there really is NO condemnation in you! Thank you for calling out my name in the garden and for pursuing me! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Love is an Act!

I wrote this poem almost a month ago in my quiet time with the Lord. I was processing a situation with a person in my life and He challenged me like always to see things differently. To see Him in her. To see Him as the perfect role model for relationships. As a result of this time with Him, the relationship has transformed and I always want to give Him the glory for His work! God is the God of reconcilliation and He cares more about relationships than anything else! That's why He sent Jesus so we could be in relationship with Him! The other part of that is so that we can be reconciled with each other! God is a relationship God!

Love is an Act!

I am no better than she
She is no better than me
Instead we are sisters in His family

She may have different gifts
Different quirks or perks
Or a different personality than me

But regardless of the facts
The truth remains
Love, it is an act

Ane when I serve her
I'm like Him
When I have compassion on her
I'm like Him
When I affirm her
I'm like Him
When I lay aside my needs or wants for her
I'm like Him
When I forgive her
I'm like Him
When I'm willing to listen to her
I'm like Him
When I hope for her best
I'm like Him
When I love her
I'm like Him

And He is love!
Love is an act!

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Don't Wanna Be Bankrupt!

Recently, I have been reading in 1 Corinthians again and of course, 1 Corinnthians 13 gets me every time. This was the verse that jumped off the page this morning:

So, no matter what I say, what I believe, what I do, I'm bankrupt without love!
1 Corinthians 13:3

Bankrupt. That's intense. Bankrupt means "unable to pay debts" and some synonyms are "broke", "cleaned out" and "ruined".

Think about that. I am ruined without love. I am broke without love. In essence, my life means absolutely nothing if I don't have love and allow that love to overwhelm all I think, say and do! WOW! I am definitely still chewing on this and its implications but I wanted to share.

The other portion of scripture that stood out in 1 Corinthians was this:

Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly! And the best of the three is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13

Love extravagantly! When I hear this phrase it makes me think "over the top" type love and I start to think that's a little much. But then God reminds me of how He loved extravagantly in sending Jesus, the perfect Savior and I am both awed and humbled. One of the many definitions for extravagant is "beyond what is reasonable". I like that and at the same time recognize that is why my first thought is "that's a little much"! Of course it is! It's beyond reasonable!

I can at least attempt to love like this! I probably won't get it right but I'd rather be accussed of attempting to love extravagantly then being bankrupt from a lack of love. I love bcause He first loved me!

Lord, help me to love extravagantly and every day to look more and more like You in my love!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

BOUND BY SHAME AND REJECTION, FREED BY LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE

On Easter Sunday, our church had a non-traditional service in which we did cardboard testimonies and then a few of us were asked to share about the story on the cardboard. I was asked to share my story, well mine and God's story :) So, here it is. I pray that it would bless you and that you too would move into more healing and freedom as you recognize His love and acceptance!


BOUND BY SHAME AND REJECTION, FREED BY LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE
Natalie Landry

Imagine with me if you will, a couple in their mid 30’s, with three children, ages 14, 12 and 9. Life is going along as they know it when one day they find out some news: they are pregnant. Well, not they, just she but you catch the drift. J What would normally be an exciting event in the life of a couple is taken in with uncertainty, fear and rejection. You see, this family was already complete. Catholic school cost a pretty penny and they were just 9 years shy of having all kids out of the house or so they thought. But along came this news and in 9 months would come this child. The one hope for this child was that it would be a boy, Matthew, to even out the 2 to 1 sibling ratio. The 9 grueling months passed by and this family would finally get to welcome baby into the world, baby girl that is. Not Matthew but a girl. Me J I was born into this world, not what anyone expected or really even wanted and I knew it. I don’t know how but my earliest memory tells me that I was unwanted, rejected. Life went on for me and rejection was the theme. Starting at age 6, shame was added to the rejection mix as I was sexually abused by a neighborhood girl. She wanted to play doctors but took it to a whole different level. The shame and rejection escalated as I felt like I never fit in anywhere, in my family, at school. I sought my refuge in sports and in making others laugh, anything to hide my pain. I became a people pleaser to gain some level of acceptance from those around me, my teachers, my parents, my coaches. Of course, when I failed and couldn’t attain that perfection, the acceptance was taken away only furthering my roots in rejection. When it came to God, I only knew him as a huge dictator in heaven to be wary of because He knew all I had done and He wasn’t too pleased. I saw Him as a giant police officer ready to pull me over at the most minor of infraction. I had never heard of a relationship with Him only that I needed to follow these rules and be a good person and then I might be able to make it to heaven. But the problem I had was what was good? And how good is good enough? No one could answer that for me. I sought out counsel with my church and my questions only led me to being chastised for asking or I received answers such as “This is what we’ve always done”. But I was hungry. I needed answers and I needed to know that someone could love me unconditionally and accept me for who I was, mess and all. Little did I know that the God of the Universe not only saw me but knew me and wanted a love relationship with me. He pursued me with cookies. Chocolate chip ones at that! God knew I loved chocolate chip cookies. God knew that I would take a chocolate chip cookie even if it was from a stranger and that is precisely what happened. I was 18 and had just gotten to campus at Nicholls State University. I had moved into my dorm room the weekend before classes started and was quite upset that all my roommates wanted to do was drink and party and smoke. Those things were not “good” and definitely not something I, people pleaser, wanted to be a part of. That Sunday night, I called my sister in tears. My roommates had gone out and I had the room to myself. My sister’s words to me that night were, “You need to find a Christian group on campus.” I thought that sounded like a good plan. So the very next day as I walked through the student union, I noticed a massive bowl of chocolate chip cookies. A student offered me one and of course I gladly accepted. I asked why they were giving away free cookies and they said they were a Christian group called Chi Alpha and they just wanted to invite people to their welcome week activities. I was completely floored knowing the conversation I had the night before with my sister. I took the calendar of events and went to each one that week. That Thursday night was what was called Thursday Night Live. I likened that it would something similar to Saturday Night Live but boy, was I wrong. I entered the theater and took a seat near the middle just before the event began. This was no ordinary event, this was church. From the get-go, I was in tears and I remained that way the entire time. I cannot tell you exactly what went on in that theater but I can tell you I walked out changed, I walked out a Christian. I had given my life to Jesus and had asked for a relationship with the God of Creation. The next few months and even years was learning about this intimate partnership. To say that coming into a relationship with Christ granted me unconditional love and acceptance would be true however, sometimes we don’t access all that we are eligible for because we lack the knowledge, understanding and even freedom to walk in that truth. See, I just got a new phone as I was eligible for an upgrade. While I know the basics of how to make a call and how to text, I am completely unaware of all that my phone is capable of. I was just like this in my walk with Christ. I had gotten the upgrade, which we will call salvation. And I had learned the basic functions of Christianity but I was unaware of the freedom via his unconditional love and acceptance, i.e. all that was available to me. A few months ago, God put me in a place to have this revelation. I had grown into greater levels of healing and freedom over the years but even as a Christian, a shame cloud followed me around and I still felt enslaved to rejection. In an intense prayer time with some good friends, God performed major heart surgery. God took me back to the place where the rejection began, in the womb. And He literally walked me out of that place into the place of knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt His unconditional love and acceptance. It still feels weird at times to know that no matter what I do or could ever do, that He would love me anyway. God is not the big dictator or angry policeman that I once thought. He is a compassionate Father, an intimate lover who would do anything, who did everything, to bring us into relationship with himself. He loves me! He accepts me! And friend, He loves and accepts you too!

Saturday, March 26, 2011

A Whole New World

A Whole New World

The other night I was driving home and was just in conversation with my Father. I was thanking Him for all He has been doing in my life and I felt Him say, "I am taking you to a whole new world!" Now, I grew up a Disney kid and one of my favorite characters was the Genie of the Lamp from Aladdin. So, immediately, my attention went to Aladdin, particularly when Aladdin sings the song A Whole New World. I started singing it that night, reminiscent of days of old and when talking with a friend later that night, I shared that God has been taking me to "A Whole New World" and testified of the things that He has been doing.

Now, fast forward to this morning. I was reading in Hebrews in my quiet time with Him and He once again reminded me of this idea of "A Whole New World." When God repeats Himself, I pay attention and so I stopped reading to look up the lyrics for the song. Here they are:

A Whole New World
I can show you the world
Shining, shimmering, splendid
Tell me, princess, now when did
You last let your heart decide?

I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways and under
On a magic carpet ride
 
A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no
Or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming

A whole new world
A dazzling place I never knew
But when I'm way up here
It's crystal clear
That now I'm in a whole new world with you
Now I'm in a whole new world with you

Unbelievable sights
Indescribable feeling
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling
Through an endless diamond sky

A whole new world
Don't you dare close your eyes
A hundred thousand things to see
Hold your breath - it gets better
 I'm like a shooting star
I've come so far
I can't go back to where I used to be

A whole new world
 Every turn a surprise
With new horizons to pursue
Every moment red-letter
I'll chase them anywhere
There's time to spare
Let me share this whole new world with you

A whole new world
That's where we'll be
A thrilling chase
A wondrous place
For you and me

 
Now, I took the liberty of higlighting in red the lyrics that Aladdin sings because this morning as I read them and listened to the song, I literally heard God singing them to me. He is perpetually pursuing me, wanting to take me to a whole new world with Him. And the amazing thing is that He is! 


One thing I find interesting is that Jasmine sings "every moment red-letter". And immediately my mind goes to God's word where often the words that Jesus speaks are identified with red letters. Now consider that every moment of our lives are touched by God himself, by His red letters!
I pray that as you listen to Aladdin sing this song to Jasmine, that you will allow the God of the Universe to sing it to your heart! He is in passionate pursuit of you friend! Allow Him to chase you down and sing this over you!