I Choose...

I was recently chatting with one of my favorite people and we were discussing the issue of CHOICES. And the reality is that we are bombarded with choices every day of our lives. What to eat for breakfast? What shirt should I wear? Where should I get gas? Should I get a new hair cut? Should I accept this promotion? Who should I be accountable to? When can I get that much needed pedicure since my feet are starting to get crusty?! (I think you get the picture!)

Last night, as I was going to bed, the following Scripture came to mind:
Joshua 24:15 But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then CHOOSE FOR YOURSELVES THIS DAY WHOM YOU WILL SERVE...But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.

This Scripture adorns many homes and makes for great artwork. But as I was pondering this verse with my eyes beginning to close, I received revelation on this verse. For the longest, I thought this verse referred only to salvation and choosing the Lord. However, the fact the verse says "this day" and depending on which day you read it, any day could be "this day" it only makes sense to me that this is THE BIGGEST CHOICE I MUST MAKE EACH DAY.

THIS DAY, I must decide whether to serve the Lord or myself. I must choose whether to serve my emotions or Emmanuel. I must choose whether to serve my flesh or the Faithful One. I must choose whether to serve Satan or my Savior. I must choose whether to trust the Lord in my circumstances or be overwhelmed by them. I must decide whether to walk in the new life God has given me or to return to my old ways and patterns of life.

As I was looking up the above Scripture reference, I also spotted this verse:
Deuteronomy 30:19-20: This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now CHOOSE LIFE, so that your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice and hold fast to him.

I can almost hear the God of the universe pleading with me, pleading with you, CHOOSE LIFE!! The cool thing is that Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life, so choosing Jesus means choosing life! :) I find it interesting in the above scripture that the prerequisite in this verse for loving the Lord your God, listening to his voice and holding fast to him is to CHOOSE LIFE!

Now, I don't know what choices you and I will be bombarded with today but I can guarantee you we'll be faced with two:
1. Will we choose to serve the Lord today and not ourselves?
2. Will we choose life?

Lord, help me to choose well today! Help me to choose You and Your ways and not mine. Help me to choose life, to speak life, to be a life that shines so brightly for you! Help me to recognize the choices throughout my day and to choose life! This is the day Lord, that you have made! I choose to rejoice and be glad in it!

Who, Do, What?!

Day 2 of 2012 I decided to spend with the Lord so I went to our frequent hangout spot, the river. But en route, God had me stop and pick up a loaf of bread and some grape juice as I felt like He wanted us to have communion. When I got to the river, I had communion with the Lord and just soaked in His presence. If we stop long enough in His presence, He will speak. And the beginning part of what He began to speak to me was this:

It's not about your "do", it's about your "who". Your "do" flows out of your "who". Let me continue to transform your "who" and your "do" will follow. 

While the above is not funny by any stretch, I find myself continually talking about God's sense of humor! In the days since January 2, literally EVERY DAY, the Lord has been reminding me of this who vs. do conundrum!! In the days following He has given me phrases such as "being vs. doing" and "person hood vs. performance" and then literally devotion after devotion have reiterated God's point. Some of those devos have included the following:

CEASE STRIVING and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.~Psalm 46:10 NASB

So much about God can never be known on the run. We can get so wrapped up in everyday life that we fail to be wrapped up in Him. The busier we are, the more stillness and rest we need....The Father taught me an important truth. He is more concerned with who I am than what I do.~Mary Southerland, GIG

So, needless to say, I think God is trying to get his point across in my life and in the lives of others! :)

The reality is that I am still learning this truth. In the Fall, the Lord took away my striving and performance tendencies when it came to grad school. But now, I am learning the lesson at work. When it came to school, I was able to say, "This is not eternal, it doesn't matter. People are eternal." But the difference with work is that for me and my job, IT IS ETERNAL! I deal daily with individuals who cannot physically function on their own, most of whom have a mental disability and who don't know Jesus. So I am constantly seeking the Lord as to what "cease striving" looks like in the job that He has given me. And I am thinking that maybe "who vs. do" goes back to where God had me at the start of the New Year, at the river (the place of sustenance and refreshing) taking communion (abiding in His arms and His presence).

Lord, in a world where "do" often trumps "who", I ask that you would continue to allow my heart and mind to make the shift that my "who" is really what matters. God, I ask that you would help me to be still and know that you really are God. I pray that you would continue to lead me and guide me into ALL truth!

The Power of Laying Down!

I like naps. I like sleep. In actuality, I just like to lay down. Period. And while it is very easy for me to lay my physical body down, it has been a horse of a different color to lay other things down. The Cheez-its. The chocolate chip cookies. My friendships and relationships. My desire to strive and be perfect. My EXPECTATIONS!

In reality, it all boils down to my EXPECTATIONS! In times past, I expected the Cheez-its and the cookies to fill the hunger that lingered in my soul. I expected my friendships and relationships to numb the fear of abandonment. And I expected my "perfect" performance, in all areas of my life, to finally get that seemingly un-obtainable goal of acceptance. And despite my expectations, I was ALWAYS let down! You see, I expected things and people to meet the needs in my life that only God can fill.

A few months ago, in some face time with the Lord, I heard Him call me "Gomer". I thought I knew who Gomer was but just to make sure, I looked her up in Scripture (yes, Gomer is a she!). And there she was, in the small book of Hosea. Hosea was a prophet that God called to marry. Not just to marry anyone but specifically, a prostitute (as a physical representation of God and the Israelites). And guess what the name of the prostitue was.....yep, Gomer! While, I wanted to be offended at the Lord for calling me Gomer, especially when my occupation has never been that of a prostitue, the Lord began to bring clarity. As I re-read the story of Hosea and Gomer, God brought to light that it wasn't so much the fact that Gomer was a prostitute but that she kept chasing after other lovers or other things that she thought and expected would bring her the satisfaction that she needed and desperately wanted. She was in pursuit of, chasing and serving idols. OUCH! (God, can I get my name changed back to Natalie?!)

Now, in 2012, we wouldn't say that we serve "idols" as that was so Old Testament! But let me give you this definition of idols that I read in a book called "The Peacemaker": An idol is anything apart from God that we depend on to be happy, fulfilled or secure; something other than God that we set our heart on, that motivates us, that masters and rules us or that we trust, fear or serve; something we love and pursue more than God.  Does this definition help? :) You see, I depended on and EXPECTED food, and people and striving to be happy, fulfilled and secure. I set my heart on my EXPECTATIONS of those things and I literally trusted, feared and served them!

There is a book that I have yet to read but the title is "When I Lay My Isaac Down" by Carol Kent. But I want to use her title to bring all of this together. For years, I tried to "lay down" the food, "lay down" my relationships, "lay down" my striving but to no avail. But through the graciousness and mercy of the Lord, He has revealed that the "thing(s)" that I needed to lay down, were my EXPECTATIONS! And friend, there is power in laying them down!

I no longer expect food or people to meet the needs in my life that only God can fill. I go to God and He affirms, comforts, loves and accepts me! Of course, I still have to eat and I still have relationships, but the main thing that has happened is the laying down of those expectations. I would love to say it is a one time deal and that once you lay the expectations down then you are set. But the reality is that every day, God shows me those EXPECTATIONS that I didn't even know were there! Like, on Friday, when I expected my day to go one way and it took a total detour. Or on Saturday and in the days prior as God had me dying to and laying down my birthday expectations.

The really cool thing is that once we lay down our expectations and look to the Lord alone for fulfillment, it gives Him the room to do exceedingly, abundantly more than we can think, ask or imagine (and I would add, expect!)! While it is a process, and a journey we will be on for the remainder of our days here on earth, there is power in laying down!

Every Thought Captive

This morning I woke up with a new attitude and perspective about a situation that has been plaguing me which is a total answer to prayer. My prayer had been to change me or the situation. Well, God was gracious enough to change my view of the situation which is exactly what I needed. The situation remains the same but the Lord reminded me about taking every thought captive in my Jesus time today.

God directed me back to 2 Corinthians 10:5 in The Message which says "We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosphies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting EVERY LOOSE THOUGHT and EMOTION and IMPULSE into the structure of life shaped by Christ."

This right here is why I enjoy reading in both the NIV and Message Bibles because I am able to glean deeper truths and more practical applications. Okay, so NIV says to "take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ." But The Message takes it further and talks about those loose thoughts, emotions and impulses. If you are anything like me, you have a lot of those "loose" thoughts. I think these thoughts to which they are referring are those seemingly random, out of nowhere thoughts that the enemy likes to hurl at us when we least expect it. THESE thoughts are the ones that we are directed to take captive because they are the ones that influence our emotions which influence our impulses and attitudes. If we can control our thinking as we are directed here to do, we can control our emotions and our impulses which is HUGE! So, I challenge you this morning as the Lord has challenged me to think about what you are thinking about. Watch out for loose thoughts. Check your emotions and impulses and allow God to bring truth.

Lord, I thank you for changing me and my perspective on this situation in my life. I thank you for reminding me of the truth and of the importance of taking thoughts, emotions and impulses to you and making them obedient to Christ. Lord, give me greater levels of clarity and wisdom and help me to recognize the loose thoughts that don't line up with You and Your Word. Holy Spirit, lead me and guide me into all truth! Amen! :)

The First Game of Hide and Seek

This morning as I was in the place that God speaks to me, often the most clearly, the shower, God started speaking to me about "the first game of hide and seek". I knew immediately where He was going with this idea as He has been having me re-read the book Captivating By John and Stasi Eldredge. Much of the book refers to Adam and Eve, the consequences of their disobedience and then the provision of God to bring healing and restoration to us, their descendants. But even more than the reading of this book, God has been leading and showing me that I have been playing my own game of hide and seek with him. Before I get ahead of myself though, let me give you the Scriptures.

Genesis 2: But for Adam^[f] no suitable helper was found. ²¹ So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs^[g] and then closed up the place with flesh. ²² Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib^[h] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
 ²³ The man said,
   “This is now bone of my bones
   and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
   for she was taken out of man.”
 ²⁴ That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
 ²⁵ Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

The verse that stuck out to me was verse 25, Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
But oh how the story transitions. Let's read Genesis 3.

¹ Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”
 ² The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, ³ but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”
 ⁴ “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. ⁵ “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
 ⁶ When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. ⁷ Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.
 ⁸ Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. ⁹ But the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?”
 ¹⁰ He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”
 ¹¹ And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”

You have heard this story before, I know that. But what the Lord was reminding me of this morning as I re-read this story with fresh eyes is that since the first game of "Hide and Seek" we have never stopped playing the game! It literally has been the "game" that NEVER ENDS! We were shame free at the start of creation and in a few verses the story drastically changed and we have been condemned by our sin, walking in our shame, turning to "fig leaves" to cover us and "hiding" from the only One who can "find" us and SAVE us! Yes, we might be "saved" from hell but living in shame and condemnation (from the sins we have already confessed and He has forgiven) is not the path we have to continue walking in.

In some FACE TIME with the Lord yesterday, He gently showed me how continuing to walk in regret and shame is to not fully embrace the work that He completed on the cross. He knows that I am a wretched sinner, unable to do anything right on my own despite my many attempts but HE DIED FOR THAT SINNER! I have "known" that but I haven't KNOWN that until yesterday.
Yesterday, the Lord "looked" for me again and this time I allowed myself to be "found". As I laid face down, tears of shame streaming down my face as I repented yet again, the Lord graciously lifted my head and showed me His love. He showed me how much He cares and has always cared and He has brought me out of HIDING! The game of Hide and Seek CAN end. All it takes is the "hidden one" to come out of "hiding" and allow themselves to be "found".

Thank you Lord for never giving up the "search" for me! You knew where I was all the time and you had your eyes on me through it all but you are so gentle and gracious in that you waited for me to respond and to bring me out of hiding! Help me to stand up against the lies of the enemy that would try to bring shame around again and to walk in the truth that there really is NO condemnation in you! Thank you for calling out my name in the garden and for pursuing me! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Love is an Act!

I wrote this poem almost a month ago in my quiet time with the Lord. I was processing a situation with a person in my life and He challenged me like always to see things differently. To see Him in her. To see Him as the perfect role model for relationships. As a result of this time with Him, the relationship has transformed and I always want to give Him the glory for His work! God is the God of reconcilliation and He cares more about relationships than anything else! That's why He sent Jesus so we could be in relationship with Him! The other part of that is so that we can be reconciled with each other! God is a relationship God!

Love is an Act!

I am no better than she

She is no better than me

Instead we are sisters in His family

She may have different gifts

Different quirks or perks

Or a different personality than me

But regardless of the facts

The truth remains

Love, it is an act

Ane when I serve her

I'm like Him

When I have compassion on her

I'm like Him

When I affirm her

I'm like Him

When I lay aside my needs or wants for her

I'm like Him

When I forgive her

I'm like Him

When I'm willing to listen to her

I'm like Him

When I hope for her best

I'm like Him

When I love her

I'm like Him

And He is love!

Love is an act!

Don't Wanna Be Bankrupt!

Recently, I have been reading in 1 Corinthians again and of course, 1 Corinnthians 13 gets me every time. This was the verse that jumped off the page this morning:

So, no matter what I say, what I believe, what I do, I'm bankrupt without love!
1 Corinthians 13:3
Bankrupt. That's intense. Bankrupt means "unable to pay debts" and some synonyms are "broke", "cleaned out" and "ruined".

Think about that. I am ruined without love. I am broke without love. In essence, my life means absolutely nothing if I don't have love and allow that love to overwhelm all I think, say and do! WOW! I am definitely still chewing on this and its implications but I wanted to share.

The other portion of scripture that stood out in 1 Corinthians was this:

Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly! And the best of the three is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13

Love extravagantly! When I hear this phrase it makes me think "over the top" type love and I start to think that's a little much. But then God reminds me of how He loved extravagantly in sending Jesus, the perfect Savior and I am both awed and humbled. One of the many definitions for extravagant is "beyond what is reasonable". I like that and at the same time recognize that is why my first thought is "that's a little much"! Of course it is! It's beyond reasonable!

I can at least attempt to love like this! I probably won't get it right but I'd rather be accussed of attempting to love extravagantly then being bankrupt from a lack of love. I love bcause He first loved me!

Lord, help me to love extravagantly and every day to look more and more like You in my love!