Fought For

I am about to put my heart out here in this blog today but if it ministers to just one person it will be worth it!

My week began on Monday morning with God calling me out on a pride issue, via my dear friend, Joyce Meyer. I clicked on a link that said, "God is in Control" because I always can use that reminder. But it turned out to be the Lord setting me up! I was re-directed to one of Joyce's sermons but it was not titled "God is in Control" but rather "Characteristics of Humility". Well, my immediate reaction was to find another more applicable sermon to watch however, I felt like the Lord wanted me to hear what Joyce had to say in this message. After some time, Joyce said, "Impatience is a manifestation of pride." OUCH! That was a truth that very much hurt in that moment because I have been quite impatient with the Lord and his timing. He was not acting as fast as I wanted or bringing the revelation that I wanted when I wanted it. (Notice how many times I said "I wanted"!) So, after that sucker punch from Joyce and the Holy Spirit, I quickly repented.

After my truth encounter, I had to go to the doctor who confirmed that I had a yeast infection, urinary tract infection and an ovarian cyst. The terrible three as I affectionately called them.

On my way home from the doctor, my friend Tonja was sitting outside on her patio (we live on the same street). She waved me down to stop and I knew that I was being set up by the Lord. We started chatting and I shared with her the morning's events. In regards to the physical issues, she asked, "What's up with that? You think it could be spiritual?" I told her it very well could be and shared my pride revelation that morning. She put me on pause and went inside coming out with a book. The book was called A More Excellent Way and Tonja explained that it was written by a minister who travels around as God leads and God will use this man to bring healing to people, physically, emotionally and spiritually. The man has found that in many cases, there is a link between the three.

After Tonja's mini explanation, she looked up "ovarian cysts". I was shocked to hear as Tonja read the definition that the spiritual root was "unresolved issues with the mother!" She asked if that was accurate and in that moment the Lord began putting pieces together. I had just had family time on Friday and I found myself growing increasingly frustrated with my mother and I didn't know why. So, this body and spirit connection made sense.

The next thing we looked up was "yeast infection" which wasn't in the book but God spoke to my heart and said "the yeast of the Pharisees". The Pharisees of Jesus' day had issues with pride and being religious. Of course, this made sense considering my Joyce issue earlier that morning.

Tonja gave me the book to look through and I looked up "fibromyalgia" since I was once given that diagnosis and I still have pain associated with it. Fibromyalgia was said to be the result of "fear, anxiety and stress" and that "the fear is beyond the realm of consciousness." The book went on to say "the spiritual root can be found in females who don't feel covered, protected, nurtured, don't feel safe, are always looking over their shoulder, are driven, anxious, moving the pieces of their life around and are insecure." WOW! So has been my story, especially in regards to my parents!

After trying to take in the above revelation, Tonja and I talked about needing to cry out to the Lord. I told her like I felt like I had been but she sensed I needed to scream and cry and get it all out. I told her I didn't feel safe to do that just yet.

Monday night, I felt like God wanted me to re-read a book called Why You Do the Things You Do which is God being funny again because the book is psychology meets Christianity and is all about a child's attachment to their MOTHER and how it relates to relationships later on in life. (I highly recommend this book by the way!)

Tuesday morning during my quiet time, I was trying to figure out what the connection was between God and my mother. Usually we hear of our father issues impacting our relationship with God, not mother issues. I've even told people that dad relationships affect how we see God but mom relationships affect how we see others. So, with that knowledge base, I was stumped as to how there was a connection so I went to the Word. I looked up "Mother" in my concordance and found Isaiah 66:12-13 which reads like this in the Amplified:

For thus says the Lord: Behold, I will extend peace to her like a river, and the glory of the nations like an overflowing stream; then you will be nursed, you will be carried on her hip and trotted [lovingly bounced up and down] on her [God's maternal] knees. As one whom his mother comforts, so will I comfort you; you shall be comforted in Jerusalem.

Did you see that!?!? GOD'S MATERNAL KNEES!!!! There was my connection! My issues with my mother have not allowed me to receive the comfort of the Lord. And the reality is that mothers, well both
parents are supposed to fight for their children as well and as a result of my past, I have not felt fought for by either of my parents and I had dealt with that in regards to my dad but not my mom. It is so very important for you to know you are SOMEONE WORTH FIGHTING FOR!

After this revelation, it was abundantly clear to me that an unresolved mother issue was at hand. Other events of the week included further confirmation and further revelation which came via: the best conversation my sister and I have ever had that brought much revelation about both of our mother issues; my cell phone declaring "connection failed" which illustrated again the lack of nurturing I received; and then Beth Moore's teaching from the week on "Family Calamity and Restoration"! REALLY!? I think God was trying to get my attention!

Yesterday was a zoo trip with my entire family and almost at the start of my time with them, I was frustrated but with my mom in particular. The day went on and I found God dealing with me on my frustration and impatience (PRIDE!). By the time the day was over, I was frazzled which is just where God wanted me.

This morning, my pastor conveniently shared about struggling with God and that surrender was needed. Before he even finished altar call, I was on my face weeping before the Lord. I was surrendering and I finally was able to cry out to the Lord for Him to take all of the pain associated with my mother (mind you, this is like round 7 of dealing with mother issues but it's another level). I wept and screamed as all of the pain came forth (totally a humbling and non-Pharisee moment). Some precious sisters from my church were praying over me when I heard Tonja's voice say, "God is cutting the umbilical cord between you and your mother because it didn't provide nourishment and He is reconnecting it with Himself." That would explain the excruciating emotional pain I was in at that moment. After what seemed like days of screaming and wailing, the Lord brought peace and quieted me with His love. I returned to my pew where another sister from my church prayed over me and told me God says, "I am fighting for you!" HOW AWESOME! That was just what I needed! Of course, pastor had used that Scripture in his sermon and here it is for YOU!

Ex 14:13-14 Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.

I am FOUGHT FOR! The Lord continues to fight for me as my healing journey continues!

YOU are fought for!!!!! Your parents may not have fought for you either. Your husband may not have fought for you. Your friends might not fight for you. You may not feel fought for but oh friend, YOU ARE BEING FOUGHT FOR! The God of the universe is fighting for us! The battle does not belong to us! It belongs to the Lord and He is way beyond capable of fighting on our behalf!

However, God waits for us to give the reigns over to Him. Will you stop fighting and be still today so the Lord can fight for you?? I stopped fighting this morning when I laid on the floor at the altar and said over and over, "God, I surrender!" "God, I surrender!" God was faithful and met me in that moment and took away so much pain, so much that I am actually feeling a little bit like a hollow Easter bunny as I wait for God to fill me back up. I know He will do the same for you! Be encouraged my friend, YOU ARE FOUGHT FOR!